


I'm Yours

by Levi_Rivaille933012



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Case, Death, Depression, Drugs, F/M, Johnlock - Freeform, Kidnapping, M/M, Marriage, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture, Very little Molly/Lestrade, mystrade
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-11-17 11:51:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 29,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11274849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Levi_Rivaille933012/pseuds/Levi_Rivaille933012
Summary: John, depressed over Sherlock's death, goes through life just living through the motions. He visits Sherlock's grave daily but it destroys him. One day, christmas eve, he decides he wants to tell Sherlock how he felt about him all that time.Sherlock sat there every day, watching as John cried over him. He yelled at Sherlock for leaving him alone and it broke his heart... but he had to do it. One day John looks so much worse than usual and Sherlock couldn't help sneaking closer to him, wanting to make him feel better. When he hears what John has to say, he is overcome with emotions but one overpowers the rest... love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ClarySade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClarySade/gifts).



** NOTE: Hey guys so I am having major writer's block right now for all of my stories yet here I am coming up with new plots for other stories. Sorry I'll try and update as soon as possible. It is the summer right now so I can update more than a few times a month. I don't have a plan and am winging this whole story. I also can't say when I am able to update because like I said major writer's block but please stick with me. Thank you and enjoy. -Captain **

The sunlight filtered through the curtains and I groaned as I peeled my eyes open. This morning was just the same as any other morning for the past two years. It was going to be a dull day and I would probably end up back here doing the same thing before bed later today.

Groaning again, I pulled my legs out of bed and sat hunched over, rubbing my eyes, trying to get rid of the haunting thoughts that plagued my mind. I pulled myself out of bed and stumbled to the kitchen to prepare my tea.

I grabbed the two cups and set one at the table beefore going to my seat. Then I stared across that table and tears filled my eyes. I rested my head in my arms and let the tears pour out of my eyes as I cried over the man I longed to see again.

The door of the apartment opened slowly with a creak as Mrs. Hudson walked in. She hurriedly made her way over to me and wrapped her arms around me. She said nothing as I cried and I was grateful for that because I didn't think I'd be able to talk if I tried.

When no more tears could fall, I looked up and smiled sadly at Mrs. Hudson who returned the sad smile. "You  really need to eat something." she finally said. I shook my head, still not trusting myself to speak.

She smiled warmly and moved into the kitchen to prepare some breakfast. I huffed as I lied my head back down. I didn't work anymore. They agreed to still pay me some money so that I could live but I couldn't work. My free money was about to end though with the upcoming new year. I wasn't exactly fired but I wasn't fit to work.

A plate of eggs was placed in front of me and a small plate of bacon along with it. I silently thanked Mrs. Hudson as she left the apartment. I picked at the food for at least an hour before throwing it out and grabbing my jacket and Sherlock's scarf before heading out.

Christmas Eve. One of the most heartbreaking days ever. Today was going to be the day I tell him, even if it's way too late, how I felt about him. The snow slid down my coat and I shivered as I quickly walked to the graveyard.

Once I entered and found Sherlock's grave, all of the cold I felt was gone and nothing was left but despair. I fell to my knees before his grave and a wretched sob escaped my lips. I pressed my head to the headstone and tears streaked down my face.

"Oh god Sherlock. I'm such a mess. I'm so sorry. Why did you have to leave me alone? Life has sucked without you... not one worth living." I whispered. I heard a few footsteps behind me but I ignored it, thinking it was those silly teens who liked making fun of me.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the tiny black box I had gotten a few days ago. I opened the box and picked up the ring. "I wish I was able to tell you how much I cared about you. You were the most important person in my life. I wish you were here or that I had gathered the courage sooner to tell you that I love you."

"This is a crappy first date... I can't stop crying but... at least we're in this together. I miss you so much and I don't know how much longer I can live without you here. It hurts to know that I won't hear that beautiful violin at the ungodly hours of the wee morning. I won't hear your chuckles in amusement and will never see your eyes twinkle when you win."

"I miss everything about you Sherlock and I still find myself looking at your chair and making an extra cup... of tea in the mo-morning." I had to take a few breaths before continuing. "All those times I said we weren't a couple... I never wanted to accept the fact that we could be. I realized, right before you...you... well you know... that I liked you and after you had, I realized it was more than just that."

"I love you Sherlock Holmes and I hate that it took me so long to realize it. I wish I could tell you in person but I'm stuck talking to your grave." I chuckled. "It's quite funny actually but... I want to ask you... well now this sounds so much stupider out loud than in my head... Will you be my husband Sherlock Holmes?" I asked chuckling as tears continued to slide down my face.

A warm pair of arms wrapped around me and I freaked out. I struggled to get away from the person holding me but in vain. He whispered in my ear, trying to calm me down and once I recognized the voice I froze.

My body shook with the sobs that threatened to spill from my throat. He couldn't be here. He was dead. I slowly turned, eyes closed because I feared that he was going to disappear as soon as I opened my eyes.

When I finally did I saw Sherlock, my Sherlock, looking at me with tear-filled eyes and I knew this wasn't real because an affectionate Sherlock is one thing but never in a milion years would you find Sherlock crying.

"You're not real. You're not real. You're dead and just another one of my many illusions. I'm just seeing what I want to see but you're gone."

He tilted my face up to his and I closed my eyes. "Please go away. I know you're not real. Just like all of my dreams, you would never actually be here, touching me as though I was important. Even if you were alive right now, you would never talk to me or look at me the way you are now."

"John... John... look at me. Please look at me. Does this feel fake to you?" he asked but I wouldn't open my eyes. He grabbed my chin again and wiped a tear away from my eye. He pulled me close and I breathed in the scent that was just so inexplicably... him."

I opened my eyes just as he leaned down and kissed me. I breathed a sigh of relief when we pulled apart because it was no doubt real. He was really here and really did just kiss me. He hugged me again after noticing that I was shivering. I relaxed back into him, still not quite believing this was happening.

We sat in utter silence, not the awkward kind of silence but one that's comfotable. Each of us glad the other is there. We sat like that for a few hours before Sherlock finally shuddered and I realized we were still outside in the snow and he had no scarf. 

I chuckled as I wrapped my scarf around his neck. "Let's go home." I said.

"Yeah... home."


	2. Chapter 2

**Sherlock**

Sitting around, day after day, doing nothing was boring. John would come by everyday and break down by the grave. It was devastating. Everyday he got thinner and paler. Darker bags under his eyes. 

He wore the scarf but always seemed to be cold no matter what he was wearing. He looked exhausted and devestated. He knelt in front of it and began to cry. My heart broke into a million pieces. I couldn't bear the sight of him so broken and I knew it was because of me.

He got up and started screaming. "Sherlock! Why did you have to be such an asshole and leave me behind the way you did?! This isn't living! You not only killed yourself, but me too when you took that jump! I... I..."then he fell to the floor and started crying again.

Everyday he would do this and everyday my heart continues to break into a million pieces and it hurts. When Molly would bring me food, she would hug me and tell me everything would be alright. She always told me I should just give him a hug and tell him everything's alright but we both knew I couldn't because it wasn't the right time yet and he could be killed.

"I'm sorry." she would say and then she would wipe a tear from my eye. John is the only person who makes me cry, makes me smile, makes me feel human. Hell he made me laugh in the middle of a crime scene on our first case. I smiled at the memory.

He shot the Cabbie to save me and I hadn't realized until afterwards and I came up with some really lame excuse to get Lestrade to forget what I said about the shooter. I chuckled when I remember how pathetic I sounded. "I'm in shock... look I've got a blanket." It was amazing.

I shook my head and brought myself back to the present. It was Christmas Eve and there was a present tucked away in my pocket. We had gotten rid of all of Moriarty's men. John, Mrs. Hudson, and Lestrade are safe now. Molly kept telling me that this was the perfect moment to come back from the dead but there was something different about today.

John looked done. He wore all black and he had already been crying. My scarf was still wrapped around his neck but he still shivered as he walked over to the grave. He immediately fell to his knees. He looked so exhausted, as if he hadn't gotten a good night's rest for a long time.

There was no screaming today. No 'how dare you's' and no 'Why's.' I found myself stalking closer to hear what he had to say. Today was different and I was going to make it a good day. I noticed he had something in his pocket and I stalked even closer so I could figure out what it was. John never brought anything, aside from flowers.

The snow crunched under my boot and I silently cursed myself for being so loud but John didn't turn around. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a black box and my heart sank. John pulled out the ring making me feel even worse. I can't believe I left him alone.

"Life without you has sucked... not one worth living." he said. I then noticed there was something else in his pocket. I took a few steps closer, worried about what he was going to do. When I saw what it was, I froze. I didn't know what to do.

I have seen many knives throughout my whole life. I've seen them in the kitchen, lying on the ground, and some sticking out of people's bodies but it never bothered me. Out of all of those knives, none of them scared me. None of them rendered me useless but seeing that knife in John's pocket scared the hell out of me.

My heart thundered in my ears and I tried to think of what to do but my mind had stopped working. 

All I could think about was that blade. Blood dripping off of it in an outstretched hand, not moving. John wasn't moving and I knew this was because of me. I caused it. This was my fault.

I couldn't breathe for a second and my knees hit the snow. When at last I caught my breath, I sat there in the snow, hunched over. I don't know what I'd do if that actually happend. 

"Will you be my husband Sherlock Holmes?"

My breath caught in my throat and I turned to him. Did he actually ask what I thought I heard? My eyes filled with tears again and I wrapped my arms around John. He started wriggling around, trying to get away from me but I wouldn't let him.

"Shhh. It's okay John. It's me. Calm down. I'm not trying to hurt you." I whispered and he suddenly froze after he recognized my voice. He slowly turned towards me, eyes closed, and I realized... he thought he was dreaming.

When he finally did open them he looked shocked. "You're not real. You're not real. You're dead and just one of my many illusions. I'm just seeing what I want to see but I you're gone."

My heart shattered again. What did I do to you? I'm so sorry John. I won't ever do anything like this again. I tilted his face up, searching his eyes for anything but sadness but he closed them before I got a chance to look well enough.

"Please go away. I know you're not real. Just like all of my dreams, you would never actually be here, touching me as though I was important. Even if you were alive right now, you would never talk to me or look at me the way you are now."

He didn't think I cared. What about all those times I waited for him? All those times he told me 'you should eat something' and I did even though I wasn't hungry. My life has flipped since I met John and he never noticed. I almost chuckled at the thought of it but right now was not the right time.

"John... John... look at me. Please look at me. Does this feel fake to you?" I asked wiping a tear from his cheek. I pulled him closer before finally kissing him. I couldn't believe this was actually happening right now.

I have seen this moment play out in so many different ways but this, this was not one of them. John breathed a sigh of relief before he shivered. I hugged him closer to me, trying to keep him warm even though I was far from it. I didn't want to ruin this moment.

We sat in silence for a little while before I shuddered. John chuckled and wrapped the scarf around my neck. "Come on let's go home." he said.

"Yeah...home."

Home could have been in the middle of the ocean on a tiny island but it wouldn't matter as long as John was with me. I bent my head low as we left the graveyard because no one knew I was alive yet.

Once we arrived at 221b Baker Street, I noticed John shivering. I waited until he finished knocking to pull him close to me, kissing him as I wrapped my scarf around his neck again.

"It's about time Jo..." she started as the door swung open. I pulled away and turned to her smiling. 

"Hello Mrs. Hudson. I would love to catch up but right now, John needs to get inside before he freezes to death." I said squeezing past her and dragging John with me upstairs. It was great to be back.

 


	3. Chapter 3

When I woke up the next morning John wasn't there and for a second I thought I was back in Molly's house. I couldn't bear the thought of losing everything I had just dreamed about. I had wanted it for so long and I thought I had it but... none of it was real.

Then I heard the telly. I sighed, glad that I heard it because Molly was never home when I woke up. I pulled myself out of bed and stumbled into the living area. "Ugh you're watching that American show. The uh... OJ one right?" I mumbled and John nodded.

"Everyone told me it was a great show so I decided to watch it. This is the first episode if you want to watch."

"I'll be out in a second. I'm just going to make a cup of tea. Want one?" I asked. John nodded again. I quickly made our cups and sat down in my chair. They were interrogating him and he kept fidgeting about.

"He's guilty."

"And how do you figure that?" John asked. He was already used to my analayzing the shows. So he just went along with it as he had done so many times.

"He moves to much when he talks to the police. He keeps looking around the room as he comes up with new lies. His answers aren't clear and direct they are varied and sound like he doesn't remember or is confused. He has a nervous air to him when he talks to them. Like two minutes later he's in his house flipping out about being recorded in handcuffs even though it was only for a few seconds. He started screaming about everything and at everything and everyone. That's what the whole show's going to be about. I'm already bored."

"Wow you're absolutely insane Sherlock." he replied, looking at me in wonder.

"Why insane?" I couldn't fiure out why he decided to use insane instead of clever or observant.

"Because you just figured everything out and you've only seen like five minutes."

"Well I know a little about this guy. I know enough to know that in the end he gets away with it because it's based off of reality where he published a book. If he had gotten caught he would have gone to prison for the rest of his life therefore he must have gotten away. The little details is how I figured out he indeed was the one who killed his ex-wife who cheated on him. Motive: His wife cheated. He couldn't pinpoint his whereabouts at the time she was killed. I noticed everything down to the blink, or lack thereof, when he said he didn't kill his wife. When did he arrive home? The police has asked him that and he replied with 7,8,9. Nobody has that wide a range for a time they got home. That's not an answer. Not unless you're hiding something. Sorry." I said quickly.

"Wow."

"What?"

"You are just observant is all. I wouldn't have been able to pick up that much. Of course you are Sherlock Holmes so what could I expect?"

"Well then there's the obvious fact that he found out his wife was dead and didn't even shed a single tear."

"Yeah okay fair enough." John sighed.

"So if you couldn't couldn't get that he was the murderer from everything above, that gave it away. But I did see that way after I said everything."

"That was just plain awesome."

"What was? Oh and I was right. When he was hooked up to the heart monitor and was answering the questions he got a -24 which is the lowest score you can get when getting your heart rate tested. Then of course he starts yelling again, coming up with excuses as to why it was jumping about." I was still watching the telly as John watched me, fascinated.

"That. That was awesome. What you just did."

 

"Sorry. I made you miss the past ten minutes of the episode."

"It's no problem. I don't think I would get far in this show anyway."

"Look at this he even has a hideout. A place that he can co in case something like this happens. No body plans this stuff out just in case. He planned this." I said. John looked at me again. He looked like he couldn't believe I just pieced all of that together. "Sorry again." I apologized.

"Don't be I find it rather interesting."

"Oh and he has a new girlfriend right after he found out his wife died. Yeah he didn't care at all. Alright I'm done now I promise."

"We didn't even get through half of the episode and you already figured everything out." John got up and turned the telly off.

He grabbed a book and sat down to read and I huffed. I hated not having anything to do. I have read every book in this room. I've seen almost every show or guessed the ending of it and I was already bored. I snuck over to John's chair and slid down the back and into his lap.

"Don't ignore me John. I'm bored." I whined. He continued to read and I sighed. "Please..." He rolled his eyes and looked at me, before getting up and grabbing my wrist. 

"Come on then Sherlock."

I grabbed my jacket and scarf and quickly followed him outside. "What are we doing?" I asked.

"We are going out to eat."

"Not hungry."

"Just come on." he whispered, grabbing my hand. I hid my face in my scarf and quickly followed him. We walked into the Cafe and took a seat in the back corner so that no one could see my face. When the waitress showed up, I looked at the picture on the wall so she couldn't see my face.

I ordered John's second choice of meal as usual and we talked about what to do afterwards. We decided to go to a castle and have some fun today. Once we finished our dinner we started heading towards the castle when I got a call from Molly.

"So when is the dinner party?"

"What dinner party Molly?"

"The Christmas one of course. You know since today is Christmas and all?"

I turned to John. "You're having a Christmas dinner?"

He took the phone from my hands. "It starts at 5:00 Molly." he said. He then looked at the time. He shut the phone of, looked at me, turned around, and began walking back to Baker Street.

"You're having a Christmas dinner?" I asked again.

"I was expecting to live alone for the rest of my days and I was going to say goodbye to everybody today. It was going to be the last day I would..."

"I understand."

"You do?" He asked startled. I did know.

"Y-yes. Yesterday when we were there... in the graveyard. I had snuck closer to hear what you were saying. There was something different about you yesterday and I crept closer to hear. I saw the blade in your pocket and my heart stopped. I was so terrified." I shook my head. "We best get going so that we aren't late to the dinner you're hosting."

He nodded sadly and we continued walking. "I'm so sorry Sherlock." he whispered.

"It's alright John." I said wrapping him in a hug and kissed him. "I love you John. Don't you ever forget that."

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

(John's POV)

Once we walked into the flat, we found Mrs. Hudson cooking. "Do you need any help?" Sherlock asked. 

"No thank you. I don't need fingers in the salad." Mrs. Hudson chuckled. I nodded and Sherlock stumbled slightly. 

"Are you okay?" I quickly asked, a little worried. I didn't want to lose him for real this time. He chuckled and just gestured towards the couch. I nodded again and quickly walked over to the couch.

He layed down and rested his head in my lap. "What's going on?" I asked. He looked up at me through his bangs and my stomach twisted in knots. 

"Just a little exhausted is all. I havent's slept very well for the past two years. Probably 10 hours a week at most." he said.

"That's not nothing. Why have you..."

"Because I was worried sick. I spent half of my time worrying about tracking down the damn hunters so that you wouldn't be killed when I came back. The other half of the time I spent squatting in the graveyard and worrying about you until my head hurt. If it hadn't been for Molly talking sense into me I would have showed myself long ago and you would have gotten killed for it."

I smiled slightly when he chuckled. I ran my fingers through his curly locks as his eyes drifted closed. He nestled in closer to me and I chuckled at how adorable he was when he was asleep. When he was awake, he was always thinking. He never seemed to stop but when he was asleep he didn't need to think... he probably still did but it didn't show like it did when he was awake.

I started nodding off myself when the front door opened and Lestrade and Molly walked in. Lestrade walked over to me and reached out to grab my back but jumped back when he noticed a sleeping Sherlock in my lap.

I put a finger to my lip and he nodded in understanding before backing away and helping Mrs. Hudson out in the kitchen. Molly sat in my armchair and she looked so tiny compared to it. I chuckled and Sherlock stirred, his eyes flittering open.

He stretched and pulled me down as he did so. He pressed his lips to mine. A smooth, slow kiss to show that something was there but we weren't in a hurry. Molly squealed and he smiled lightly againt my lips as Lestrade walked in, smiling widely.

"So I see that not only has Sherlock returned from the dead but he has feelings and is _finally_ dating John. It's a miracle really. Who knew?" he chuckled and soon the whole flat was full of laughter.

"I have to ask... How did you do it?" Lestrade asked.

"Well... Greg?" Sherlock started and once Lestrade nodded he knew he had gotten it right. He would probably forget it soon anyway. "I had to make sure that when I called John he was standing in the right spot so the giant balloon thing that would catch me couldn't be seen."

"Giant balloon thing?" I asked trying to hold in a laugh.

"I don't care what it's called right now. Anyway. There was a body in the morgue that looked a lot like mine and John needed to see a body when he turned the corner. Time was of the essence  and everyone needed to hurry. So they got the balloon out of the way and Molly threw a fake body from a few floors up so that it would land on the ground. John saw the body and our biker hit him, knocking him down so that he couldn't see what was going on. I then ran and grabbed some supplies, taking the spot of the body as everyone dumped stuff on me. Placed a bal under my armpit so that if he squeezed har denough for the pulse he wouldn't get one. When John got up he rushed towards the crowed gathered around my body while the others took the body around the building like clockwork. It was convincing and he actually saw my body."

I sighed. I felt so stupid. How could I have not known but he did make it convincing enough. "Why?" Lestrade asked. Mrs. Hudson looked just as interested as I was. I knew that we were targeted but by whom and why?

"Well before I jumped I met Moriarty." I groaned, thinking about the pool. Moriarty had me strapped up with bombs and was threatening to shoo me should Sherlock not cooperate. "He and I were talking and he said that he had snipers. They were aimed at my friends my first thought was John and he said all of them... that meant Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade too. Fortunately he forgot Molly so she was able to help out with the whole thing. He said that he was going to have you killed if I didn't jump but he didn't think I'd do it which meant he had a code for them to stop. I was going to keep him alive so that he wouldn't kill you guys but he had planned to go really far and shot himself in the head so I had no leverage. It was either me or you guys and I couldn't lose you so I jumped. They thought I really died but obviously I didn't but they were taken out so that I could be back here with you guys." he finished.

I took a deep breath and the room was extremely and awkwardly silent. The oven dinged and Mrs. Hudson gestured for Molly and Lestrade to follow her into the kitchen. They set about preparing the food but all I could do was stare at Sherlock. Did he really do that for us? He risked everything to save us.

"What if your plan hadn't worked?"

"But it did."

"I know that but what if it didn't? You and I both know what I would do if you were truly dead."

"I know and I won't let that happen. John, never. I will always come back for you. I'm so so so sorry." he whispered. He wrapped me in a tight hug as I cried into his shoulder. I couldn't bear the thought of losing him again and I still find myself believing that he will disappear any second and I'll just wake up.

"If you hug him any tighter I'm afraid you might actually lose him." Molly joked and I blushed as pulled away. 

"I'm sorry." I said.

He chuckled ang hugged me again. We watched a bunch of corny Christmas movies as we ate our dinner, talking about what had happened over the past two years. Mrs. Hudson was still living here as normal. John had moved out and was going to marry someone but that didn't work out very well because of how upset he still was, so he moved back into the flat. Lestrade and Molly finally got together and everyone seemed happyish.

Once dinner was over we sat by the fire and told jokes. Sherlock had his arm wrapped around me with a blanket shrouding our shoulders. Mrs. Hudson sat closest to the fire with a blanket and Lestrade and Molly were doing the same thing as Sherlock and I were.

We passed off our presents. "I'm sorry I didn't get you anything but you were dead." Lestrade kept saying. Molly smiled and handed Sherlock a present and he smiled gladly. I adopted his scarf so he finally had one of his own... again.

Mrs. Hudson got a new pair of slippers and a robe from Lestrade and Molly and she got new cooking utensils from Sherlock and I. Lestrade got an expensive watch from Sherlock and I. He got a new tellecom from Mrs. Hudson and a holiday to Paris from Molly. Molly got a brand new dress from Lestrade, a bunch of new makeup from Mrs. Hudson, and a new telly from Sherlock and I. We couldn't figure out what to get her so we decided on a new telly.

Sherlock got the scarf from Molly and Lestrade and got a bunch of new containers from Mrs. Hudson. "What do I need these for? We never cook." Sherlock asked.

"For your... experiments." she replied and Sherlock chuckled.

I got a photo album full of photos with the four of us from Lestrade. "I'm sorry. It's not the same now but I hope you like it anyway." I nodded and thanked him. I got two tickets to Italy from Molly and I knew it was for the two of us. I also got a new clarinet from Mrs. Hudson.

Then it was Sherlock's turn to give me my gift. I was so nervous for what it was because he always managed to surprise me. "John, do you remember what you were saying at the grave yesterday?" he asked.

"Mostly, yes. Why?"

"Do you remember what you asked me?" I smiled widely. I think I knew where this was going. I was getting slightly excited.

"I do."

"Yesterday, you said that it was a crappy first date that was a little bit too late and you asked me to marry you." He got down on his knee and opened the box I had seen in his drawers a few months ago. I never wanted to open it though.

"I say yes but will you? Will you marry me John Watson?" he asked. Molly started squealing as I nodded. I couldn't trust myself to speak because of how excited I was. He slid the ring on my finger with a huge smile on his face. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him.

He immediately wrapped his arms around me and kissed back. I heard a snap as someone took a photo. Chuckling, Lestrade left to go get it developed and when he finally returned he put it in the last page of the photo album. The words 'Will you marry me John Watson?' and 'Yes!' were written on the back as he slid it in.

"It's perfect. Thank you gusy so much." I smiled hugging them all at once. This was an amazing Christmas and to think, I was going to kill myself tonight after saying my goodbyes and yet here I was with the love of my life having a great time. What a turn of events.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**_Sherlock_ **

_The roads were slippery and the car skidded as the driver followed my directions as quickly as possible. "It's of great importance!" I yelled. These emotions were so foreign to me but I knew that I would be far from okay if anything were to happen to him._

_Once the driver pulled in front of the ramshackled building, I threw a wad of cash at him and jumped out of the taxi. "Don't wait up. Keep the change."_

_I sprinted towards the door and pushed through. There was no light in the place and I could see less than a foot in front of me. I stumbled around trying to find a lightswitch or something. A loud bang rang through the building and my heart sped up._

_Oh god no. Please be okay. The lights suddenly flickered on and I heard a scream. John's scream. I ran towards the sound praying that he would be okay because he was the only thing keeping me right._

_I burst into another room and found myself staring at a man, a man I knew, with a wicked gleam in his eye and a gun in his hand. Right next to him, the man I loved, head hanging low and blood spilling from his leg. "Oh my god." I yelled as I ran towards him. Moriarty chuckled and I glared at him as I applied pressure to John's wound so he wouldn't bleed out._

_Moriarty had gone too far this time. I grabbed his gun and with trembling hands, brought it up to his head. "You have pushed me to my limits, Moriarty. Now you have gone to far." I pulled the trigger and another bang echoed through the house, followed quickly by another. I spun to find John, eyes wide, gasping with blood spilling out of his mouth._

_"No. No. No. No. NO!" I yelled. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. We were supposed to be on a great honeymoon. Nothing was supposed to happen. "I'm so sorry John. You should have left when you had the chance. You should have left me when I pretended to be dead all those years ago."_

_John grabbed my face and pulled my face up to his. "I would never... change my mind... I love you Sherlock. Please... Mycroft... protect him." he whispered before he kissed me. Tears slid down my cheeks as his hand left my face and fell limp at his side._

My eyes shot open and I lie there sobbing. I accidentally woke John up and he wrapped me in a hug. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. "I'm sorry Sherlock."

"For what?" I croaked.

"For everything."

"I should be the one apologizing. You hardly got any sleep because you thought I was dead and now that you'll finally be able to, you can't because I'm keeping you awake with nightmares. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault.  Do you want to go back to sleep?" I shook my head again and he nodded. He hugged me tighter and let me finish crying. 

"Thank you,John."

"For what exactly?"

"For dealing with all of my crap. After all of this time, after I left, you could have forgotten about me. You could have lived with Mary and lived happily. You could have never wanted to talk to me again. So thank you."

"I tried to move on without you. I have ended up in the hospital a few times. I couldn't find it in me to move on no matter how hard I tried."

I sat up and stared at him. "The hospital?" I asked confused and very worried.

"This isn't the time for this kind of conversation. How about we start on our wedding plans?" he suggested. 

I looked at him confused for a moment. "Don'lt look so shocked. You proposed to me remember? It was either that or Cluedo but God knows I'm not playing that with you ever again."

I knew he didn't want to talk about this but I knew we needed to but I nodded slowly, crawling out from under the covers. John followed not to long after and we headed into the dining room to set about making plans.

"So Lestrade, Mycroft, Molly, Mrs. Hudson... anyone else?"

"Why not invite Mary, Harry, Sally, and Anderson as well." I suggested. He nodded and scribbled down some more names.

"We are very antisocal people. There will be like four people at our wedding." he chuckled and I nodded in agreement. Then flashes from my nightmare flittered across my mind. I turned my head away from John, willing the tears not to fall.

John sighed and placed the pencil down. "What did you dream about?" he asked hesitantly.

"Only if you agree to tell me about the hospital, will I tell you." I said and John nodded slowly. I took a deep breath before recounting my dream.

"But Moriarty is dead so you have absolutely nothing to worry abour...right?"

"I'm sure you're quite right and it could just be a different version of what previously happened." I said and he nodded silently. I waited for him to start talking but he didn't. "Well, your turn. You need to talk." 

He took a deep breath before talking. "You aren't going to like this."

"Let's head back to the room then." he nodded and we turned the light off, not even bothering to put the stuff up as we went to the bedroom. Once we slid back under the covers, he rested his head on my chest before taking another deep breath.

"Please don't say anything until I have finished." I nodded and began running my fingers through his hair. "The other day at the cemetary wasn't my first time thinking about harming myself. I was going to that day, yes, but it wasn't the first." I stopped moving my fingers for a moment before continuing, keeping my promise and not saying anything until afterwards.

"The gun I used to shoot the cabbie on our first case, was locked away in my dresser drawer. About 2 maybe 3 months after you had died, I took the gun and said goodbye at the cemetary. I shot myself in the chest but they managed to save me. So the next time I used a knife and I tried again. 4 times in total because I couldn't handle being there without you and it killed me. So on that day you came back I had a knife in one pocket and a gun in the other in case the knife hadn't worked. I was gonna aim for the head that way they would save me but I'd have really bad brain damage if I ever woke up, or I would die."

I had long since stopped carding my fingers through his hair and I couldn't breathe for a moment. I struggled to catch my breath. I tried but I couldn't get any air and it occured to me that I was completely freaking out.

"SHERLOCK!" I heard John yell. I was aware that he was saying something before but I wasn't able to hear anything the first few times. He shook my shoulders and suddenly all the air rushed back into me. I gasped and sat up quickly.

"Don't ever do that again."he breathed. 

"You what!?" I asked.

"I'm sorry but I couldn't live without you. I knew that I liked you but once I lost you, I realized that it was so much more and it hurt to think that it took me so long to figure it out and I was only able to say it to your dead body. I was utterly destroyed. Mary gave me a choice, him or me and I chose you because I couldn't move on. I believed that you would come back and yet everyday I died and I would see you and it would only get worse. I believed that you were here and that you were talking to me and I learned to believe that you weren't real. You were part of my hallucinations and it broke me everyday. I made extra tea, I moved into your room, I did whatever I could to feel close to you but I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried to."

I hugged him and cried. I have cried so much more in the recent days than I ever have in my whole life and I actually started to laugh. "You think this is funny? I poured my whole soul out to you and you laugh."

"Sorry. No. It's not funny but you, John Watson, make me human. I have smiled and cried and laughed a lot more in the past few years of my life than I ever have in my whole lifetime, especially these past few days. I love you John Watson and I am so very glad that we are getting married because if I had to spend the rest of my days with anyone, I'm glad it would be you." 

John punched my shoulder and chuckled. "You sound like a cheesy romantic, but I love you too." He leaned over and kissed me before slowly drifting off to sleep. I smiled as I breathed in his scent, glad that I finally had John.

It took him a little longer than it took me but in the end I got John and I think that's all that mattered.


	6. Chapter 6

**_John_ **

I woke up early the next morning and groaned as I rolled over. My hand met the empty bed and I sat up, freaking out for a moment. Where was Sherlock? Then I heard the quiet playing of the violen echoing through the flat. I was so happy to have Sherlock back.

I smiled as I pushed myself out of bed. A phone ringing echoed through the flat but Sherlock didn't answer it. I sighed as I walked out of the bedroom. I picked up Sherlock's phone which buzzed in my hand as he got a message.

**Lestrade:** _We have and odd one for you. Meet me at Lauriston Gardens._

**Sherlock:** _We'll be there._

"Lestrade's got a case." I said. 

"No... we need to plan."

"No. You get restless without a case. We are going." I said. I wasn't going to have my mind changed either. He sighed and put his violen up.

"Where."

"Lauriston Gardens."

"Like where the Pink Lady case was?" he asked. I nodded and he quickly put on his coat. We trudged down the stairs and to the front door. "There's been another case Mrs. Hudson. We'll see you later." Sherlock yelled behind him. I chuckled at how cordial he was being.

I waved down a taxi and crawled in with Sherlock next to me. "What did he say?"

"He said, 'we have an odd one for you. Meet me at Lauriston Gardens.' That's it." Sherlock nodded and stared out the window.

"I hope it rains." he said and I looked up at the sky to find that it indeed was cloudy. Once we arrived I threw some money at the taxi driver, thanking him as I quickly followed Sherlock, struggling to keep up with his long strides.

"Where is it?" I asked upon a rrival, completely out of breath.

"This way." Lestrade mumbled gesturing upstairs. I nodded and quickly followed Sherlock up the stairs and into the room. His eyes twinkled and even though his face was really stoic, I knew he was glad to have a case.

I smiled and turned to look at the bodies, suddenly wishing that I didn't. All the air left my lungs and I stumbled back against the wall, my smile falling. "Are you alright?" Lestrade asked. Sherlock whipped around and glanced me up and down.

"You know them." he stated and I nodded. I tried to catch my breath, my eyes filling with tears. It was impossible. I thought they were dead. How are they here right now?

"How long..." I cleared my throat. "How long have they been dead?"

"About 2 hours." Lestrade answered, eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"

"That's impossible. They died... years ago." I sank to the floor staring at the couple in front of me. The woman was dressed in a beautiful black dress that reached her knees. Her hair curled, eyes closed. He was dressed in a tuxedo and looked just as she did. They looked as though they were sleeping if it weren't for the cuts on their face, arms and legs. The red hand marks on their necks.

"They're wet." Sherlock stated.

"We can't tell if they were drowned, choked, or bled to death." Lestrade anwered. Sherlock hummed.

"I'm sorry. I can't be here... I'll just... I'll just go." I mumbled and I left. Sherlock said something to Lestrade but it was drowned out by the roaring in my ears. I sat at the bottom of the stairs, head in my hands, trying to even my breathing.

Sherlock sat next to me and wrapped his arm around me. "Who are they?" Lestrade asked.

I shook my head. I couldn't bring myself to tell him. "Are you alright?" Sherlock asked softly. I shook my head, tears sliding down my face. He hugged me tighter and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"I knew you two were gay." Anderson cackled. I glared at him and he visibly gulped, turning and going to find Donavan no doubt. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Let's go. We need to figure this out right?" I asked.

"We don't have to if you don't want to." Sherlock replied. I shook my head and stood up, breathing in shakily. I grabbed his hand and led him back upstairs. 

"Do your thing Sherlock." I said and he nodded giving me one last sad smile before getting to work.

 

**_Sherlock_ **

I smiled at John sadly before turning to my work. I was going to get this done as fast as I possibly could so that we could get out of here. John didn't need to be around these people any longer than he had to.

I ran my hand along her dress. Wet. Dumped in the water last. Drowning is ruled out. I moved closer to study the cuts on her face. "Lestrade, do you have a scalpel?" I asked. He shook his head and ran downstairs to find Donavan.

The hand marks on her neck aren't bright red so it couldn't have been there too long. Lestrade thudded up the stairs, handing me the scalpel. I made a cut on her arm. Thinner cut after death, no blood, skin sticks up. These cuts were made when she was alive.

I moved over to examine the male. The hand marks were darker red, bruised just a bit. The cuts were thin so not too much blood loss and he was also wet. So he was also dumped in the water after being killed. He was cut while he was alive but he was choked first and died because of it.

"He was choked to death while she bled to death." I stated. Lestrade stared at me in bewilderment. 

"I'm not even going to ask how you figured that out." I turned to John and wrapped him in another hug. "I'm so sorry John."

"It's not your fault. I just believed they were dead years ago. I had to lose them all over again."

"Who are they?" Lestrade asked again. I glared at him. It was obviously not the right time to be asking these questions. He put his hands up in surrender and I walked John down to the cab.

 

**_John_ **

Once Sherlock finished I quickly walked down with him to the cab, glad to be out of there. I slid into the cab and looked out the window as it started to rain. Sherlock slid in next to me, wrapping me in another hug. I slid out of his grasp, silently thanking him for being as quick as possible.

I stared out the window and thought about the conversation I last had with them. 

_"But we can get out of this. I'll go get another job. We'll be fine I promise."_

_"No we won't!" Harry yelled._

_"We have to be Harry." I yelled back. They stood in the background watching as we argued. "Aren't you two going to say anything!?" I yelled. We were in deep trouble. We barely had enough money to eat._

_She shook her head. I growled as I stormed out of the house. I walked over to my friend's house and crashed for the night. I couldn't deal with all of this crap right now. When I woke up the next morning, the news was on._

_"The Watson's found dead this morning. No break-ins reported. Police are calling it suicide."_

_I sat there and cried for days on end before leaving to join the army. It was providing me with money for my sister and a place to stay. I had food and it gave me something to think about._

Sherlock was shaking my shoulder. "We're here." he whispered, wiping the tears from my face. I opened the door and quickly walked upstairs. I immediately went to our room and layed down on the bed.

Sherlock came in and hugged me tightly. "I'm so sorry, John." he whispered as I cried into his shirt, soaking it.

"They were my parents Sherlock."

 


	7. Chapter 7

I gasped as I opened my eyes. I had another nightmare about losing John. Last nights was so much worse now that there was a murder related to him. I don't know if I could live with losing him. I _can't_ lose him.

I smiled down at John, glad that he was still here, before quietly sliding out of the bed. I started boiling some water to make some tea and began pacing back and forth. This case is extremely important because it obviously has to do with John. He could be in danger.

I could solve this case but then John would be stuck in a situation where he may lose all of the people he cares about and I can't do that to him. But if I don't do anything and leave it to Scotland Yard it will take forever for them to catch the killer, if they ever do. 

I didn't know what to do. Footsteps coming up the stairs notified me of somone's approach. To heavy to be Mrs. Hudson. No cane. The only other person who ever came here was Lestrade. "What do you want?" I asked.

"We have the autopsy reports. You were right. She did bleed and he was choked." Lestrade paused and I looked over to him. "Sherlock... they were..."

"John's parents. Yeah I know. He told me yesterday."

"I really am sorry. Apparently, years ago, his parents commited suicide to get out of their financial debt. Both he and his sister took this really hard. He joined the army to help his sister out and now suddenly, years later, he finds his parents dead. For real this time. They had lied all that time."

I shook my head. People were crazy. They never seemed to care about anyone but themselves. I then realized that I would be doing the same thing if I took the case. I would enjoy it but I would be torturing John.

"We can't take this."

"What? Why?"

"Emotional connections to John. It would hurt him too much. I can't put him through that." I whispered. Lestrade nodded slowly. He was about to turn and leave when John stumbled into the room dressed in my robe. It was way too long on him but I felt a sense of pride in seeing that.

"Hey Lestrade. What's going on?" John asked.

"Nothing. He was just leaving." I said. John looked at me, then to Lestrade, then to the files in his hands. "Thanks, Gavin but I think it's time you should get going."

"It's Greg."

"What?"

"My name is Greg."

"Oh."

He was about to leave again but John stumbled over to him. "Let me see the files." he said.

"No it's okay. We have other people working on the case." Lestrade said. John stared at him and shook his head, chuckling. 

"No you don't. You came here to give us the files but Sherlock told you that we didn't want to take it no doubt because it was to hard for me." John said quickly. I was impressed with his deductions. 

"It's true." Lestrade sighed.

"Let me see the files." John repeated.

"You don't have to do this." I said quickly, knowing exactly what he was going to do.

"Yes. I do." he mumbled. He took the files from Lestrade who looked between the two of us before nodding and leaving us to it.

"You really don't have to do this. We can find someone else to take this case... we can... we can..." I traled off when John started laughing.

"Thank you Sherlock. Honestly, thank you for thinking about me but this is so much bigger than the two of us. It may hurt. I may lose everyone I used to know but I want to know why. Why did they choose me and my family? Why did they wait so long to do it? Who did it and how do they know me?"

"But we don't have to do that. Someone else can." I tried to persuade him not to do it. At this point I couldn't tell if I was doing it for him, or for me.

"You're right." he chuckled. "You're always right but you know what... if we don't do this more people will die because you know as well as I that Scotland Yard will take forever in finding the person. Too many lives could be lost at that point. But if we help... and we will help... we can get this done a lot quicker and then we can go back to planning our wedding and solving cases."

I stared at him in amazement. "What?" he asked self-consciously.

"You amaze me sometimes. You are willing to put everything aside to help out everyone, even if you get hurt in the process. God I love you." I whispered hugging him tightly.

"Of course I'm willing to help out everyone. I love you too." he said leaning up and kissing my my cheek. "I am willing to do this because it'll help the people. It will help me figure out who did it and why and most of all, because as much as you don't want to admit it, you want the case. You need it and I want you to be happy."

I chuckled as we slid down onto the couch. "And why do you want me to be happy?" I asked, smiling as I kissed him again.

"Because I, John Hamish Watson, have fallen for you hard. I love every single thing about you and making you happy, Sherlock, is the only thing I could ever wish for." he said in between kisses. Then he pulled away and open the files leaving me breathless. I chuckled and sat up to look at the files too.

There were the autopsy reports which we didn't need to look at. There were also interviews with people who last saw them. John sighed and got up to start making coffee. "Do you want some?" he asked. I hummed in response and stared down at the papers. There was nothing here. I groaned before silently sneaking up behind John and wrapping my arms around his waist.

"I love you too John." I whispered into his neck as he finished making the coffee. I grapped the cups and placed them on the counter. 

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I am teaching my fiancé how to dance." I whispered and we twirled through the dimly lit room, the only music, the thudding of our hearts.


	8. Chapter 8

**_  
Later that night_ **

Soft crackling filled the room as the fire lit the area in a soft, warm glow, flickering as the breeze blew in through the slightly cracked window. The coffee table was pushed closer to the fire so the files strewn about it could be seen in the dark night. A bottle of whiskey lay empty on the carpet and two glasses sideways on the table.

Both boys were a little tipsy as they giggled about John's little hiccup. They watched as the flames licked the logs which melted away to nothing but ash. The warmth washed over the two, leaving them in a peaceful silence, enjoying the other's company.

Slowly starting to drift off, Sherlock noticed a glimmering heart-shaped locket on her neck that wasn't there at the start. Slamming his hand down and startling a sleeping John, he gathered the files and his phone.

John watched, a bemused expression gracing his tired features, as the lithe man slipped on his navy blue coat. Studying the files he had just been given, he notice the locket around her neck and quickly followed Sherlock out into the oddly warm winter night.

Hailing a cab proved to be more difficult a task than usual. Sliding into the sleek black cab, Sherlock told the cabbie where to go. Ringing resounded throughout the vehicle as he waited for a voice on the other end.

At last when the ringing stopped and a voice answered on the other end, he knew where they were headed. Slightly angry, Molly awaited there arrival and showed them into the morgue. Studying the female, Sherlock noticed nothing different aside from the locket.

Silently, he slipped it over her head, twisting it in his fingers, before deciding he needed to analyze it closer. "I'm taking this."he replied, noting her confused expression. Nodding slightly, she showed them out.

The slight pitter patter of rain catching the boys off guard for it had been really warm only a few minutes ago. They slid into another cab, John wondering why they couldn't have waited until tomorrow.

Reading his mind as usual, Sherlock replied. "I would have forgotten that I saw it." Chuckling, John leaned into Sherlock. Upon arriving at their flat, John noticed a figure sitting on the front step.

"Molly and I ended our relationship just before she left. We were just awkward and she likes another person. Anyway, I need a place to stay, can I stay here?" he asked. Looking over to Sherlock to make sure he was okay with it, John nodded.

"Stay in my old room." Showing him to the room, John found Mycroft sitting on his bed.

"I didn't expect you'd have a guest." he mumbled, eyeing Lestrade quickly. Lestrade didn't seem to notice but it was noticed by John. "You probably wouldn't like Sherlock's violin playing at 2:30 in the morning."

"Well, I've no where else to go so I'll have to get used to it."

"There's always a place at my manison." Mycroft suggested. John's brows furrowed in confusion. Mycroft never showed kindness to anyone.

"Are you being serious right now?" Lestrade asked just as confused, if not more so, as John.

"Of course. When do I ever joke?"

Leaving the boys to themselves, John walked downstairs, snickering to himself. They didn't know it yet but they were perfect for each other. Lestrade would help him become a better person. More loving, more kind but, Mycroft changes Lestrade too.

He challenges and surprises him. He makes him question his life, wonder if he's truly happy where he is. When he was with Molly, it was different, it was pure and will always be good for him but it isn't what he truly wants. He wants someone who can surprise him and make him smile at the worst of times.

They deserved to be together and happy and it's either the best thing for the both of them or the worst.

John shook his head amazed at how well they would work for each other. John slipped into his shared room with Sherlock and smiled in amusement when he heard the shower running. Mycroft was right when they first met... he missed the war but it wasn't necessarily the war he missed but it was the adrenaline, the rush, the mystery behind everything.

He was glad he stumbled into Sherlock's mysterious life as a consulting detective. He couldn't imagine where he'd be right now if he hadn't bumped into Mike that day because it wouldn't be here, comfortable, with the man he loved.

Sherlock stepped out of their bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. He smiled at John, his blue eyes glittering in the lamplight, as he slowly got dressed. He was being a tease and John knew he was doing it on purpose.

He turned to find John smiling widely and when he asked why John just smiled even wider. Sherlock stood on his side of the bed and John grabbed his waist pulling him down into the bed with him.

This was the man he loved and cared about. He looked down at Sherlock, running his finger sthrough his curls and John knew, he was exactly like Lestrade. He wanted the danger and the man in from of him, the one who he has been through a lot with, was able to give him the life that he so desperately craved and he couldn't be happier.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**NOTE: Hey guys so I know it was kind of weird to be reading a first person pov fic and have a third person pov in there but I wanted to try it out. Please tell me which one you like more. Thanks-Captain**


	9. Chapter 9

_The rain slid down the windows as I started to doze off on the couch, waiting for Sherlock to come home. The door opened and my eyes snapped wide open. "It's about time that you..." I trailed off._

_Lestrade stood at the door, a worried expression on his face. "What's going on?" I asked, especially when I noticed who was behind him. Mycroft stood completely still and I knew that something serious was going on._

_"Please have a seat." I muttered._

_"We won't be here long." Mycroft ensured._

_"Please. What's going on?" I asked, already fearing that I knew the answer._

_"John... it's Sherlock, he never made it to the Yard earlier... he got..." Lestrade trailed off._

_"He was kidnapped." Mycroft finished quickly._

_"What?" I asked, my mind struggling to believe what I just heard._

_"Please don't make me repeat it." Mycroft said sadly. I fell back against the couch, my vision blurring as tears threatened to pour out. I struggled to breathe. I couldn't lose him. I cared about him too much. He was everything to me and losing him would kill me._

_"W...who? Do you know?" I asked quietly. Mycroft looked up at me sympathetically and I thought I must have been going crazy._

_"John..." Lestrade said and I could tell that I really wasn't going to like this answer._

_"Please just tell me."_

_"Mary. Mary Morstan." I couldn't take it anymore. Tears spilled out of my eyes as I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. She wasn't just taking him and I knew that it was going to be far worse._

_"We have to find them. Lestrade. We have to. I can't lose him too. Please." I begged. Lestrade nodded in understanding._

_Days of searching and solving puzzles. I knew that Sherlock would hold out as long as he could but I didn't know how much longer he would last with her. I was slowly losing my mind._

_"We found him let's go." Lestrade yelled. I grabbed my coat and took off after him. I had to find him because I would lose him for real this time and I couldn't go through that again, especially if I knew for sure he would never come back._

_I have no idea where we went because I was to focused on Sherlock to pay any attention to anything. Once we arrived Lestrade lead us down a long hallway. There was a loud grunt in pain. I rushed forward and found myself staring at Sherlock, head hanging, tied to a wall, blood dripping everywhere._

_I rushed forward, terrified that he was dead. "Don't... take another step." Mary said emerging from the shadows. She smirked as my eyes widened in fear. She stalked towards Sherlock and grabbed him by the hair, yanking his head up. He grunted and despite the situation, I sighed in relief because he was still alive._

_"John?" he mumbled, eyes full of tears. "You shouldn't... be here." he rasped._

_"Shut it!" Mary yelled pushing his head back so that it hit the wall with so much force that he groaned loudly and the wall cracked behind him._

_"Why... why are you doing this?" I asked as she untied Sherlock. Her crumpled to the floor and she nodded towards him. I ran over to him, grabbing his head and brushing the curls from his forehead. "Why?" I asked again._

_"Because he was dead John. I gave you a choice. Him or me and you chose the dead person. I loved you with every fiber of my being and you picked the dead man. You left and took my heart with you. Then I found out that he was actually alive and it was too good to be true. Oh John gets his Sherlock back. The love of his freakin life and I'm still stuck, alone, at a coffee shop. Then I thought, if he was gone and you finally got over it, maybe I could get you back but waiting for his death would take to long."_

_I glared at her. "I hate you." I whispered. She chuckled and nodded again. A person grabbed my arms and pinned them behind my back, dragging me away from Sherlock. She scrambled over to him, a wicked smile on her face._

_"You see, there was no way that I could be happy if he was still alive." Sherlock's eyes widened and I realized just how scared he was. I realized just how real this was because if Sherlock was scared he was about to die, then there was no way he would get out of this._

_"Please. Let him go." I begged._

_"You know I can't do that."_

_"It's okay John..." Sherlock whispered. I shook my head violently._

_"No. No it's not." I choked._

_"You're right John. It's not going to be okay for you." Mary chuckled before plunging the blade down. Sherlock gasped and blood pooled around him. I let out a scream so loud and painful that I ripped my throat raw._

_Lestrade and Mycroft burst into the room. Where the hell where they two freakin minutes ago? Mycroft saw me and he instantly knew what happened. Lestrade grabbed Mary and took her with him as Mycroft awkwardly hugged me._

_No words needed to be said between us. We were both so broken but I was afraid if I opened my mouth that I would scream again and I wouldn't stop crying. It was real this time. I actually saw it happen. There was no way he could have faked this._

"John!" Sherlock yelled, shaking me violently. Tears were sliding down my face so fast that he couldn't wipe them away. "It's okay. Everything's okay. I'm here right now." he whispered. I hugged him, glad that it was just a nightmare.

"I'm sorry." I whispered and he shook his head as he leaned down and kissed my forehead. 

"Do you want a cup of tea?" he asked. I nodded and silently got up. He started making a cup of tea as I dressed. I sat down on the couch, reading the paper, and occassionally sipping my tea. 

After making sure I was okay, Sherlock went back to the microscope and began studying the locket. He mumbled something and my head shot up. I'm not sure I heard that correctly. "What did you say?" I asked.

"Nothing... Hey come here a moment would you?" he asked. I furrowed my brows in confusion. He never asked me to come over unless he was asking for his phone. "What do you see?" he asked.

I looked through the microscope and read the tiny engraving on the locket.  _'Him or me? M'_

I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat and took a step back, schooling my features. "What does it mean?" I asked, hoping I sounded curious. Why would she be coming back now? She didn't say anything after that night, up until now. 

"You know. Who is M?" he asked, slightly hurt that I tried lying to him. I took a deep breath.

"Mary Morstan. After you... you know... I met a girl. We went on a few dates and had a genuinely good time but I couldn't move on. It hurt too much. She eventually gave me a decision. 'Choose. Me or Sherlock. But if you choose Sherlock, we are through.' I couldn't move on and in the end I chose you. I always choose you. I loved you and I couldn't forget that. So she was angry. What I don't understand is why she showed up now after all that time."

Sherlock studied me for a moment. He looked both upset and really happy at the same time. I chuckled. "What?"

"I don't know whether to be upset that you tried to move on with another person or be happy that you loved me and chose me. Sorry." he chuckled.

"No. No. Don't be. I'm happy I chose you too because we probably wouldn't be here right now." I smiled as I stalked towards him. 

"I suppose we wouldn't." he said, lowering his voice. "And I wouldn't be able to do this." he chuckled as he pulled me down on top of his as we fell to the couch.  "Or this." he whispered as he stroked my face lovingly. "And I most definitely wouldn't be able to do this." he whispered pulling me down and kissing me. 

When we pulled apart for a breath, I chuckled. "You definitely wouldn't have been able to do that. Thankfully you can and I can tell you just how much I love you." I whispered leaning down to kiss him again. "I love you." I whispered before pressing my lips to his and feeling him smile as I did so. 

This moment was perfect and I couldn't be happier and the one person who made it all worth it was the man beneath me. The man who was my fiancé and soon to be husband. I finally found what I was looking for and I couldn't wish for anything more.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Sherlock_ **

"WHAT DID YOU FIND?" Lestrade asked bursting into the room. I groaned pulling away from John and glaring at Lestrade who turned bright red. "I am so sorry." he mumbled and I chuckled slightly. 

John rolled his eyes as he rolled off of me. "Please. Take a seat." he said offering Lestrade his chair. I sat up and John fell into my seat. We all just sat there in an awkward silence for a moment.

"So did you come here to just break up our moment or did you actually have something on your mind?" I asked, annoyed of waiting.

"Right, yeah, sorry... uh. What did you guys find? Mycroft just told me you found something so, I came."

"That was quick. Wait how did he..." John started but trailed off when he saw me shaking my head. Mycroft had cameras everywhere. I have gotten rid of so many in the apartment but no matter what I do, I can never seem to get rid of them all.

"How is living with my brother? Quite annoying, I imagine." I asked.  I was still kind of confused as to why Mycroft allowed him to stay there anyway. Usually he doesn't care about such trivial matters.

"Quite the opposite actually. He's been rather pleasant." Lestrade answered trying to mock me. John started laughing and I couldn't tell whether it was because he thought it was funny Lestrade tried to mock me or because he just called my brother pleasant which was far from the truth.

Lestrade looked shocked at John's sudden outburst and I realized he must have actually meant it. "Wait... seriously?" I asked and Lestrade nodded. "Well that's... unexpected." I muttered.

"Why?" he asked curiously. 

"You two have met before right?" John asked.

"Of course we've met before. A few times actually." Lestrade said. 

"So then you know what how he can be sometimes." I said.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" he asked and I realized that Mycroft has never actually been rude to him. 

"Are you seriously saying you don't...." John started.

"What did you come here for exactly?" I asked cutting John off. He glared at me and I shook my head and he nodded, understanding we would talk about this later. Lestrade's confused expression fell and he turned to me.

"Right. Mycroft told me that you found something."

"Yeah. Last night we went to the morgue and grabbed a locket because it wasn't there at the crime scene." I gestured him over to the microscope and quickly adjusted it so that he could see the inscription better. "I studied this, this morning and I found this." I said, stepping aside and letting him look at the locket.

I walked over to John and chuckled when he looked at me confused. "You haven't figured it out yet?" I whispered and he frowned, shaking his head. I stared at him for a second and smiled when his eye lit up with realization. "There you go."

"Him or me? M" Lestrade mumbled and I saw John shudder. I wrapped my arms around him. "What does that mean?" he asked turning towards us. John's eyes were closed and he was trying to breathe normally.

"Do you want me to tell him?" I asked him quietly and he shook his head, taking a shaky breath.

"No. I got it." He turned to Lestrade. "M is Mary Morstan. She was my girlfriend for a short period of time." I turned to him wide eyed. He didn't tell me that. "Sorry I didn't tell you. Anyways I ran into her one day at the coffee shop and we tried dating for a while but I couldn't get over Sherlock. I loved him and it hurt too much. Eventually she decided she couldn't take it anymore and asked me to choose between her and Sherlock. I chose Sherlock. She was pissed and she kicked me out. So that's what it means on the locket."

"I understand she was angry but... why did she kill your parents and then leave a message? That's really sloppy." Lestrade mumbled. 

"Unless there's a reason she wants to be found." I said. John looked at me like I was crazy. "What?"

"Nothing. You don't really need us to search for someone who lives here do you?" John asked. Lestrade shook his head and made to get up. His phone rang and he picked it up, making his way downstairs.

"Well. Should we get back to what we were doing before we were so rudely interrupted?" I asked. John chuckled as he shook his head.

"No we should probably continue with the wedding because the longer I have to wait, the longer I'm going to die." he said and I nodded in agreement. I pulled him up and we made our way to the table.

Footsteps made their way back up the stairs. "Let me guess. Another murder. We are gonna be needed." I sighed. Lestrade nodded and I looked at John apologetically. He shrugged and I got in a cab with John close behind. 

"Follow that police cruiser." I said and the Cabbie nodded. The ride was silent for a bit until John laughed, shaking his head. "What?"

"Mycroft." I chuckled and nodded in agreement. "Never saw that one coming."

"Neither did I." The Cabbie pulled over and I got out, handing him some notes. "Thanks." I mumbled as John got out behind me. I jogged over to Lestrade and when I noticed the body I quickly turned to John.

"Umm.... you might not want to see this."

"What? Why? It's not Harry is it?" He asked quickly. 

"No. It's not Harry but you do know who it is." I said. He frowned in confusion and pushed past me. I closed my eyes and sighed as I waited to see his reaction. "I'm so sorry. John." I whispered. My phone rang and I picked up, walking away from John, giving him a moment with his dead therapist.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Sherlock. I found all of this wedding stuff on your table. You're solving a case. I have nothing to do... do you mind if I..." she trailed off. 

"Go ahead. I hope you can get more done than we will be able to." I muttered. She thanked me and I walked back over to John. "Sorry. I hope you don't mind, we are going to be very busy with Mary and her murder spree so I let Mrs. Hudson plan."

"No I don't mind. I want this over with as soon as possible so we'll work until we get it done." I nodded and moved over to examine the body. 

 

_**John** _

I stood off in the background, watching as Sherlock studied the body. Why would Mary do this? I know she was angry about me choosing Sherlock over her but why is she showing me this way? And why now? It made no sense, she had all that time, but she chose now to get me back.

Lestrade was right, it was sloppy. I had a feeling that she meant it to be but I couldn't figure out the motive behind why.  I frowned in confusion as I thought this over. "Are you okay?" a voice asked causing me to jump.

I turned to find Lestrade watching me sadly. "I'm... no I'm not but I can get through it."

"Who was she?" he asked.

"Elle Thompson. She was my therapist."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. These things happen you know. You just need to learn to live and move on." I mumbled.

"It doesn't make it any less upsetting."

"No it doesn't but I have people who care enough to help me get through it. Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why did you choose Mycroft's place? He isn't the best person. He is more cold-hearted than Sherlock."

"Cold-hearted? You must be mistaken. Anyway, I chose his place because he was right. I don't think I could handle Sherlock playing his violin at 2 in the morning." he said and I chuckled.

"John! Come here!" Sherlock yelled and sighing, I made my way over to him. "What do you notice?" he asked.

"I see that she isn't wet like the others were so she probably wasn't drowned because it wouldn't have been dry by now." He nodded encouraging me to continue but I had nothing else to say to him.

"Look closer." he said and I leaned down. I didn't know what he wanted me to look for though. 

"I don't know." I mumbled. He sighed and sat back on his feet. Sherlock started talking to Lestrade but I zoned out. Who else could Mary be going for? So far she only seemed to be going after the people I knew in London. Lestrade, Mrs. Hudson, Molly, Mycroft, Anderson, Sally, and Sherlock.

I didn't really know very many people but those I did know needed to be protected. I glanced up at Sherlock who was waiting for me. "Sorry did you ask me something?" He chuckled and shook his head.

"No. Come on. We need to go visit Molly." he said. He ushered me over to the cab and cralwed in after me. He looked out the windo after giving the adress to St. Bart's and we took off, leaving me wondering why we were headed to visit her.

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** NOTE: So I am writing this fic like crazy but I am running low on ideas for a few of my other ones. If you guys could help with coming up with a plot for my Destiel story and my Stydia story. You don't have to though. Thank you so much for your votes and comments. You guys brighten up my day and are awesome. I also really hope you aren't reading this fic for the case because it's really crappy.-Captain. **


	11. Chapter 11

**_John_ **

Once we pulled up to the hospital, I passed the Cabbie some notes before clambering out after Sherlock. "So why exactly are we here?" I asked. He continued as though he didn't hear me, which would make sense because it's Sherlock and he tends to do that.

Making our way around the people that always seemed to be milling about the hospital, proved to be extremely difficult. We did manage to make our way through the crowd and down to the mortuary though.

"You made it." she said slightly surprised by this fact. Sherlock nodded, still not saying anything and she took that as her cue to show him what she needed to. "So apparently, this Mary person, is really good at sneaking into places. This mark on her neck..." she pointed to the mark on the back of her neck. "Wasn't their before."

The mark looked like an arrow and Sherlock's eyes narrowed. "Molly take her dress off and flip her over." I said. Both Molly and Sherlock were slightly taken aback by my command. "Please." I added.

She nodded and Sherlock looked at me, confusion written all over his face. With a bit of struggle, Molly managed to unzip the dress and pull it down. She gasped as she flipped the body over. It wasn't too hard to figure out. There was an arrow on her neck pointing down, so I decided that it would be pointing at her back.

'Him or me? M' was carved into her back. There was another arrow too. This one pointing to the right. Sherlock frowned in confusion but I stalked over to the other side of the room. The arrow, if the body was flipped on it's stomach, would be pointing to the right. It would have been to the left, had it been flipped on it's back. The message was on the back so we can safely assume that it was meant to be to the right. 

I walked over to the cabinets and opened them, ruffling through the stuff. "Hey! What are you doing?" she yelled as I searched. I pulled out a small slip of paper. 'Meet me where it all began.'

I quickly apologized, sliding the paper into my pocket. "Sorry I mistaked what the arrow meant. We should get going." I suggested. Sherlock nodded and I thanked Molly, apologizing again, as we left. 

Sherlock hailed a taxi and we both climbed in. I stared out the window trying to figure out what she meant. Where what began? Where we met? That was probably the most likely.

"So what does the paper say?" Sherlock asked.

"What paper."

"The one you tried to slide into you pocket, hoping I wouldn't see it."

"Oh that paper.... It's nothing." I mumbled. He didn't believe me so he climbed over me, reaching into my pocket and pulled out the paper. He read it over quickly and frowned. 

"You cannot go there... wherever there is." he said quickly, seeing the look in my eyes. I had to though and he knows that I will go. "Please, you can't." he whispered. Seeing the look in his eyes hurt me so badly.

"I won't." I lied. I felt horrible, but if I didn't do this, I could lose everyone I love, including the man I just got back. 

"Good." he whispered. When the cab stopped I gave him the notes and climbed out of the car, Sherlock in tow. It was getting dark out and I realized we stayed out a lot longer than we thought.

I grabbed his hand and dragged him upstairs. "We need to relax. Forget about this for a bit and have some fun." I said as I relaxed on the couch. 

"Why here. Let's relax in the room." he said picking me up bridal style and walking me back to our room. I chuckled as he collapsed onto the bed and then nuzzled into my neck, kissing me. 

"You are just too cute." I whispered kissing him. "God I love you." I chuckled as I got up.

"You tease." he smiled, throwing a pillow at me. 

"I may be a tease but you love me." I smiled. He grabbed the belt loops on my pants and pulled me down.

"Yes I do."  he smiled kissing me. I leaned back as I took a breath. 

"Is that why you came back? Or was it just because you enjoyed the job?" 

"I came back for the job of course. Falling in love with you was just an added bonus." he teased, sticking his tongue out. I playfully smacked him before leaning down to kiss him again. 

"Well in that case I should just go." I chuckled, getting up and purposefully swaying my hips as I walked towards the door. I turned to see him bright red as he looked up at me. I started laughing and he turned even more red.

"Oh my goodness. You are so adorable." I said jumping on the bed and kissing him again. "Maybe that's why I love you." 

"Or maybe it's your brilliant mind." I said kissing his temple. "Or you beautiful smile. Maybe it's the way your nose sometimes crinkles when you laugh. I don't know what it is, but your adorable and I love you anyway."

He smiled as he rested his head on my chest. I ran my fingers through his curls, smiling because of how lucky I got. Finally I heard his breathing slow down and I knew he had gone to sleep. I waited a good half an hour before sliding out of bed.

I grabbed my phone and sent Mycroft a quick message. 'Don't let Sherlock leave the flat. Please.' Then I left. I knew that Mycroft would do it even though I don't know why he would. I quietly opened the door and left the flat, walking to the Cafe where we first met.

I slid in and winced out how loud the door sounded in the quiet of the Cafe. "Well done. I was beginning to think you wouldn't make it." 

I spun around, looking for her but I couldn't find her. "Where are you!" I shouted.

"No reason I should tell you that." 

"Fine then tell me this... why are you doing this?"

"Why do you think?" she asked. I had my ideas but I didn't think that they could be right. There was no reason for that. 

"Did I really hurt you that much, to the point where you are going to kill everyone I love?" I asked.

"Oh no. I have another reason. I'm not going to kill everyone you love. I just had to so that a case would start. I will win in the end and you will be so utterly destroyed that ... well I can't reveal that now can I?" I growled at her.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Everything is wrong with me. You broke me and now... I'm going to break you... and I'm going to enjoy every single second of it. But that's not why I called you here."

"Why then?" I asked, slightly nervous to find out. She emered from behind the counter, shotgun in hand, and a wicked smile on her face. I swallowed the lump in my throat and backed up a bit. She frowned, cocking the gun. 

"DON'T MOVE!" She yelled and I froze, terrified of what would happen if I moved an inch. Sirens went off in the background and I silently cursed Sherlock. She chuckled. "You clever little arse. Calling the cops." She smiled and I knew something bad was gonna happen.

A loud bang resounded through the Cafe after she fired the gun. I clutched my stomach as I fell to my knees. I bit my tongue, trying not to cry out in pain. "Till next time John." she whispered in my ear before disappearing. 

The sirens got closer until they were right outside the Cafe door. I was vaguely aware of someone screaming. It sounded like Sherlock. That's funny. Why was he here?

"Help. I need help now." he yelled and then he turned towards me. "It's okay John. Everything is going to be okay." he whispered kissing my forehead and I smiled. Then everything went black.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry guys. I have updated this a lot recently but I have literally had nothing to do all day and was bored out of my mind. I also kept coming up with ideas so I'm sorry if I annoy you. I want to thank you all for reading and commenting on my story. It makes my day and I'm glad that my stories are actually being read. Thank you all. -Captain**

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_"Please... I don't know what I did. Please don't hurt me. What did I do? I won't do it again I promise."_

_The man stalked forwards, an evil smile and a dark glint in his eye. He leaned down and wiped the tears from my face. Then he grabbed my hair and pulled me up by it. I screamed out in pain, whimpering. I didn't do anything wrong. I was just reading and then he hit me._

_"You are an annoying little shit, you know that?" he asked throwing me in the closet. "Stay in there. Make no noise. If you do you won't come out for another week." He then slammed the door shut leaving me in utter darkness._

_I held back my tears, for fear of being stuck in here longer. The next day the door opened and I was blinded by the light. I noticed a man standing there, something in his hands. When my eyes adjusted I noticed it was a belt and I tried to scramble away._

_My brother stood at the door and I begged for him to help but he was frozen to the spot. The man slammed the door shut and snapped the belt. I gulped because I knew what was coming, but I knew I couldn't stop it either._

My eyes snapped open as I gasped for air. I wiped the tears from my face and groaned. Why did I have to keep dreaming about those horrible nights? I knew I was probably whimpering or screaming or making noises of some sort. I hoped that I didn't wake John up. I rolled over to find that no one was in the bed.

I grabbed my phone to check the time and it was only 12:30. It was still dark out so John should still be sleeping. The bathroom door was wide open and there was no telly on. I looked over and found his phone gone. He must have left the flat.

I closed my eyes, sighing. Why would he leave so late? It's not like he something to do. Then I remembered the letter he found at St. Bart's yesterday. Oh no, why would he go? I goraned as I grabbed my phone and dialed Mycroft.

"Where is John?" I asked frustrated when he picked up. I slid out of the bed and hurriedly made my way over to the coat rack. I slid into my coat and began putting my shoes on as I waited for Mycrofts answer.

"I don't know brother." I groaned at his reply. I did not like that answer.

"Please look around and see if you can find out where he went. He could be in major trouble.... thanks" I hung up and scrambled down the stairs, bumping into someone at the base. "Sorry dude." I mumbled as I tried to manuver around him.

"It's alright man." he said.

"Uh, do you mind? I kinda need to go somewhere." I said, still trying to manuver around him.

"I do mind and I won't move. I was told not to let you out of the flat anyway." I groaned. Of course he was and since John didn't exactly have any henchman I knew it had to be Mycroft.

"Mycroft's orders I presume. Why would he do this? Why wasn't I allowed of the flat? Unless... no he wouldn't... would he?"

"Yup."  the guy said popping the p. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the nearest thing and hit him upside the head, knocking him out. I stepped over his body and ran out the door, dialing Lestrade.

"Do you know where he's at yet?" I asked out of breath. 

"Yeah. He's at the Gold Cafe." Lestrade answered.

"Lestrade, he's in trouble. Meet me there as soon as possible." I yelled already running off in the direction of the cafe.

"Yeah." Lestrade said, hanging up. I stuffed my phone in my pocket and ran as fast as I could down the streets of London. It was a beautiful night and I thought it wasn't fair that it was so nice when something so horrible might be happening right now.

Sirens blared as the police cruisers turned down the street I was currently on and skidded to a halt in front of the Cafe. A shot was heard and my eyes widened in fear, my heart racing. I burst through the front door and my heart stopped at the sight I saw before me.

John was curled up in a ball on the floor, blood pooling around him. I screamed, terrified he was dead. I knelt down and felt his pulse, breathing a sigh relief when I found one. It was weak though. 

"Help. I need help now." I yelled at the top of my lungs. My eyes had filled with tears but I refused to cry in front of these people right now. "It's okay John. Everything is going to be okay." I whispered, smiling sadly. I leaned down and kissed his forehead. He smiled but it soon fell as his eyes fluttered closed.

"No. No." I freaked out. "Someone help me right now!" I yelled, carrying John out. They placed him in the bed of the Ambulance before speeding away. Lestrade gave me a ride to the hospital where I sat in a private waiting room, pacing around. I couldn't lose John.

He was the only thing keeping me alive for those two years. I hated that I had become so dependent on him but I couldn't help it. I needed him and if I lost him, I wouldn't be able to handle anything.

I finally sat down, my head in my hands as I awaited news. Waiting was absolute torture because even though there wasn't any bad news, that didn't mean they weren't working on it right now. A bunch of doctors and nurses ran past the room and I sat back, trying to breath normally.

Lestrade and Mycroft came in moments later. Mycroft stood awakwardly in the back as Lestrade hugged me tightly. I was glad he was he because he was the oldest friend I had. He was like another brother to me and now I understood what John meant when he said that Lestrade would be the perfect person for my brother.

"He's going to be okay." Lestrade whispered and I thanked him quietly. I got up and started pacing again because I couldn't stop moving. A nurse walked in and studies us for a moment.

"Mr. Holmes?" she asked. Lestrade looked up and Mycroft chuckled. He and I both said yes at the same time and the nurse looked shocked for a second. "Sherlock Holmes?" she tried again and Mycroft looked down.

"You husband is in a very bad state right now. The bullet narrowly missed any major arteries but he should be fine. He's awake right now if you want to visit but he does need his rest." I thanked her and quickly walked to his room.

"Oh thank god you are okay. I was so scared. I thought I lost you for a while there." I whispered as I sat down. I leaned forward resting my head on my arms on his bed. He smiled, chuckling, as he rand his fingers through my hair.

"As if I'd ever leave you alone in this world. You wouldn't know what to do with yourself." I chuckled at that because he was right. My smile fell though when he winced.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"It's not your fault. It's mine. I'm just stupid is all."

"You're not stupid and it is my fault. If I hadn't 'died' in the first place, you wouldn't be here right now."

"No. I would be six feet under along with Lestrade and Mrs. Hudson."

"I'm still sorry. Maybe if you went on and found someone else. A new flatmate long before Mike found you, maybe we never would have been in this situation. Maybe you... after we get through this.... maybe you should find someone who won't hurt you like I do." I smiled sadly, tears in my eyes.

"Don't say that. I'm happy I ran into Mike. My life had no meaning and when I met you, I found something. I found a friend, a partner, and a lover and I couldn't be happier and after this is over with, I will have found a husband. So please don't ever say that I should leave because of all of the shitty stuff that's happened. It does suck, I will say that, but if I have to endure the ocassional crap so that I can be married to a beautiful human being, then I will, because it's worth it. Because you... are worth it." he whispered.

"How did you manage to make me feel better, when I was trying to help you?" We both laughed and I smiled at him warmly. "You should get some rest. I'll be right here when you wake up." I whispered. 

He nodded and I leaned over the bedside and kissed him on the forehead before sitting in the chair the hospital provided. It wasn't comfortable but if it meant I got to stay at John's side, then I didn't care one bit.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Sherlock** _

I slowly sat up, my back and neck aching due to the hunched over position I was sleeping in. Quiet beeping filled the otherwise silent room, the only indicator that he was still alive. He looked so peaceful. I could almost imagine he wasn't lying here in a hospital bed. I smiled slightly to myself, grabbing his hand. He was brave, braver than anyone I have ever known. No one would be willing to do meet someone who continuously hurt them. No one would continue to work on something, despite the pain, so long as others are saved.

My smile fell though. He may be brave but I can't believe he went out and did that by himself. He was lucky that the major arteries were missed. I don't know what I'd do if he actually died and I was slightly angry that he had lied to me about going to find Mary. I couldn't stay mad at him long though so I just rested my head on my hands once again and began to think. 

I was so unbelievably happy when I realized John had loved me back. It wasn't until after I had faked my death that I found this out though. It was so hard seeing him break down everyday. I hated seeing him so broken and tired and it was even harder to stay in hiding when he yelled at me, saying how much he loved me and how much it hurt when I left him. I know he was yelling at me, cursing me, hating me but when he said I love you,I felt my heart swell.

When did I start falling for John? Maybe it was at the pool with Moriarty. John had stepped out, saying what Moriarty told him, strapped in bombs and I was scared. This was the man I had come to care for really quickly. He just slid into my life and flipped it upside down. Moriarty knew before I did, that I truly loved John. He told me he'd burn the heart out of me and I realized he meant John and I will admit I was slightly confused but then I realized that I loved John. That's not when I fell for him though, that's when I realized that I fell for him. So when was it?

I thought back to our first case. I had just met this man and he was so willing to jump into danger. He didn't mind my babbling and then random days without talking. He may get annoyed with the violin but he doesn't care. I had just met this man and he worried about me so much that he figured out where I was and shot someone, killing him, so that I wouldn't die. Neither of us knew if I was actually going to or not but he didn't want to take that chance. I then lied to Detective Inspector Lestrade to protect him, which I never did, without thinking twice about it.

John meant everything to me and I couldn't bear the thought of losing him. I grabbed his hand and leaned down, kissing his knuckles. He was so beautiful. I brushed some hair out of his eyes and smiled slightly. It may have taken me forever to realize that I loved him but and I realized that I couldn't be happier. I would do anything for him, and in a way, I already did.

He changed me so much. He made me a better man. Kinder. I was so worried when Moriarty said he had snipers on him and I almost jumped immediately. I would have if Moriarty hadn't given me a disapproving glare. He hated that I had emotions. He hated that John had changed me. So when he killed himself, I couldn't find another way to save him, so I jumped. The result was horrible but at least John had been safe.

I spent two years, trying to get rid of the network for fear of losing the man I loved but it seemed that I had already lost him. He tried to kill himself, multiple times and it was my fault. Now he was here in a hospital bed because of me, because he couldn't let go. He couldn't move on. A tear ran down my cheek and I wiped at it furiously, chuckling. God, this man changed me so much. "Why did you have to go?" I asked sadly. 

His breathing picked up and he was whispering something. I couldn't tell what it was tough. I strained to hear him. "Sherlock..." he whispered. God I loved this man so much. He was unconscious and yet he still called out to me. He was a mystery that I don't think I'll ever get to the bottom of but that didn't frighten me. I stood up, leaning over and kissed his forehead.

"I'm here John. I'm right here." I whispered, slowly sitting back down and grabbing his hand again. "The doctor said that everything was going to be fine." I slowly started drifting back to sleep with that thought on my mind, a small smile on my face. 

A loud noise woke me from my slumber and I sat upright, quickly, looking around in horror. I was on alert before I realized what the noise really was. "No..." I whispered hoarsely, not believing what I was here. Trying to make myself believe I was dreaming. "This can't be... you're supposed to be okay." I whispered, heart stopping as a bunch of doctors rushed into the room.

I sat shocked. Nothing was making any sense. My vision blurring with tears I refused to shed in front of all of these random people. "What is he still doing here? Get him out!" a doctor yelled but no one moved toward me. He sighed, walking towards me quickly. "Sorry sir, you can't be here." he said sympathetically as a pair of hands gripped my shoulders and quickly ushered me out of the room and into the hallway. My back hit the wall as I tried to steady my breathing.

This couldn't be happening. They said he was going to live. They said he was going to be just fine. 

I was vaguely aware of two figures rushing towards me. One started asking me questions but I couldn't understand a word he said. I slowly turned my head towards him and realized it was Lestrade. My brother stood behind him, a little bit of pity displayed on his face. 

Tears slid down my face as I cried and sank to the floor, my hands gripping my hair. I couldn't take it. I tried so hard to keep him alive but it was all in vain. I just lost the person I loved the most. I tried to hold back my sobs but I couldn't. Sobs wracked my body and I rocked back and forth, forehead on my knees. Lestrade wrapped a comforting around me, whispering things to get me to calm down but I couldn't hear him.

I shook my head, my chest aching. Please... don't die on me John... I love you too much and I couldn't live here if you were gone. Please, come back.

 


	14. Chapter 14

_**Sherlock** _

I don't know how long I sat there in Lestrade's arms, crying but we eventually moved into the waiting room. I stood up, and began pacing around, too nervous to sit still. Waiting for news was always the worse especially in a case like this. I had no idea if he was alive again or when they were saying he was officially dead. John was the most important person to me. He was kind and caring. He was always there when I needed him and sometimes even when I didn't.

When I refused to see him he would wait and try to help in whatever ways he could. He had always believed in me, even when no one else did. I loved him too much and now I knew how he had felt when I jumped two years ago. It was the worst possible feeling, losing someone you love.

"Stop pacing brother, you're making me nervous." Mycroft muttered and I sighed as I sat down, running my hands through my hair. I bounced my leg up and down in anticipation, biting my lip and hoping that they would come soon because the longer they took to come give news, the smaller the chance of him waking up. 

"He'll be fine Sherlock. You'll see." Lestrade whispered. I nodded even though I wasn't so sure about it but I smiled sadly and quietly thanked him. He jumped back in surprise by my gratefulness and despite the situation, I couldn't help but chuckle. Light filled the room as the door slightly creaked, opening to reveal a nurse. My smile fell as I studied her, hoping against hope that my deductions were wrong.

Please don't say what I think you're going to say. Please tell me that for once my deductions are wrong. "Mr. Sherlock Holmes?" she asked sadly. I felt my heart breaking again, tears filling my eyes, but I refused to cry unless she told me he was dead. Shaking my head, I slowly got up.

"What is it? Is he alright?" I asked quickly, despite knowing that I was right and he was gone. My deductions were hardly ever wrong. She sighed slowly and shook her head.

"I'm sorry." she whispered. I stepped back, tears falling from my eyes. No it can't be. I pushed her out of the way and quickly made my way to his hospital room. The doctor who kicked me out, was slowly shutting the door. He looked up at me with a sad expression. 

"We tried everything we could." he said and I pushed into the room to find the machines unplugged and ran over to his side. I grabbed his pale, cold, lifeless hand and sank to my knees, tears falling until I couldn't see. I didn't try to hold back my sobs as I stared at the floor, still holding his hand. I gasped, trying to breathe but I couldn't get enough air into my lungs.

"I'm so sorry John. I know you say you were glad you ran into Mike but I wish you hadn't. If you hadn't run into him that day, you wouldn't be... you wouldn't be... here now, lying dead in a hospital. I am so sorry." I choked out. I couldn't believe that this bright little ray of sunshine had been snuffed out. I tried everything in my willpower to prevent this from happening but it appears it didn't matter because he died anyway.

Why did this have to happen? You didn't deserve this. I breathed in deeply, finally managing to catch a breath. I felt something hit my shoulder and I looked up to find Lestrade looking at John, hand covering his mouth. Mycroft wrapped him in a hug and if I wasn't as upset as I was, I would have laughed at this because Mycroft was showing affection. I smiled sadly, glad that they were happy and that something good did come out of my 'death'.

"Come, Gregory, we should give him some space so he could say his goodbyes." Mycroft whispered and Lestrade nodded slowly. Guiding Lestrade out, he looked back, a look of sympathy on his face. "I'm sorry." he said quietly before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

I took a shaky breath as I stood up. I gazed down at the man who, even in death, looked perfect. "I'm so sorry for getting you killed." I whispered as I leaned down, planting a kiss on his forehead. I felt so guilty about it and I turned to leave. I couldn't look at him any longer or I'd break down again. 

A faint rustling made it's way to my ears as I was heading to the door and I froze, slowly turning to face John, lying in the bed. He couldn't be... could he. I walked forward slowly, head slightly tilted, strainging to hear another noise. I watched carefully but nothing happened. I sighed, believing that I had just imagined it but then there was another rustling sound.

I made my way over to the chair and sat down, not daring to hope that he was fine. I didn't want to get my hopes up but I couldn't help it. I stared at him curiously, grabbing his hand. Frowning when I did so. It was still cold. I looked down and sighed, I knew I shouldn't get my hopes up. I took another shaky breath, holding back the tears. Then something twitched against my hand.

Body part's did that right? Some shortly after death, twitch. I watched again, waiting to see another sign of him being alive. His hand twitched again and tightened around mine. Gasping as his eyes shot open. "Sh... sherlock?" he asked.

"I'm here. Omg." I fumbled for the button next to his bed and smiled widely as the nurses rushed in. 

"He... he's alive." one of them exclaimed and I nodded because I knew if I opened my mouth I would laugh in delight. "You need to leave for a bit but he should be fine." the nurse said, ushering me out of the room. I stood in the hallway, surprised about what had just happened.

Lestrade stood in the hallway, still wrapped in Mycroft's arms. I practically skipped over to him, barely containing my smile. Mycroft looked confused for a second before a look of understanding dawned on his features. He pulled away from Lestrade, making an excuse about needing the bathroom. Lestrade slowly turned towards me, slightly taken aback by my smile.

"Why are you smiling? John just died." he asked confused and I rolled my eyes before pulling him into a hug.

"He woke up. Lestrade, he woke up." I said, crying slightly. He pulled away, looking into my eyes, searching to see if I was lying before pumping a fist into the air and smiling. 

"Yes!" he yelled, then quickly quieted down because he realized we were still in a hospital. I thought I had lost him and I was terrified but everything was better now. Everything was going to be so much better. I sighed contentedly, sitting down and waiting until they let me back into the room.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**_Mary_ **

A ringing noise made it's way through the abandoned flat. I silently cursed myself as I hurriedly searched for my phone. I grabbed it and quickly turned the sound off, hoping no one heard it. I frowned, seeing the caller ID on the screen. Unknown. 

"What do you want with me now?" I whispered under my breath. I unlocked the phone, pulling up the messages to see what they had said.

U: Meet me at the Wilson and Kyle factory and warehouse on Brentford High Street in half an hour.

Sighing, I slid on my black coat, poking my head out to make sure no one was near to spot me. After I shot John, it had become so much harder to get around London, but that was to be expected. When I was sure there was no one near me, I crept out of the building and made my way into the alley.

Closing my eyes, I mapped out the quickest route to Wilson and Kyle. It was only a few streets away. Wrapping my coat tighter around me, I sprinted off towards the factory. I never actually met the person behind the number and I was curious to find out what they looked like. Was it a male or a female?

The cold air bit at my nose and I coughed as I came to a halt, staring up at the creaky building in front of me. The windows were smashed and there was mold on the walls. Graffiti decorated the place and it was rather dark. Shivering, I checked around me once more to make sure I wasn't being followed before heading in through the door.

A loud creak resounded through the empty warehouse as I swung the door open, making me cringe. I stepped forward, the door slamming shut behind me and making me jump. "Don't worry sweetheart. He's not going to hurt you." the man said chuckling. I may not have met the person I was meeting but I most definitely have met this one. I never cared to learn his name but he was the best sniper I knew.

I scowled at him and cringed as he smiled widely, his yellow, crooked teeth making it look deranged. He put his hand in the small of my back and I growled, trying to get away but he shook his head and I tried to calm myself down. I did not want to screw this up. I may not have met this person but I knew that he had a reputation for changing his mind quickly. I did not want to get on his bad side.

The man led me through the warehouse to the darkest parts and I looked around nervously. Obviously this man did not want to be seen. I heard footsteps approaching and I tried not to shudder again. This was a bad idea. Why did I come here?

"Ah, Rosamund Mary." he said, silky voice rolling throughout the whole place. I kept my face impassive, wondering how he could possibly know my real name. No one knew my real name. "You're probably wondering how I knew your name..." he started and I frowned. Could he read my mind or something? "You hid very well. Not perfectly though, some people can read through your files and figure out easily that you had faked your death."

"I didn't need to fool everyone. I only needed to fool the ordinary people." I muttered.

"You needed to fool John." he said matter-of-factly. How could he possibly know that? "You wear your heart on your sleeve Ros..."

"My name is Mary now. Don't ever call me Rosamund again." I bit harshly. There was a growl behind me and I tensed up. Great. Now I've done it. This man was going to kill me because of my own stupidity.

"It's alright. No need to kill such a useful pawn." the man muttered and the yellow-toothed man took a step back, crossing his tattooed arms and leaning against a pillar. "Anyway... let's get down to business. The real reason you're here." he then paused and I waited patiently for what he had to say. I had a feeling he wouldn't particularly enjoy me interrupting him.

"John." I knew that's why we were here but it hadn't made me any less nervous. I truly felt bad hurting everyone John cared for but he needed to know the pain I felt. That's why I had agreed to help this person in the first place. "No more parents. No more therapist. Who should we kill next?" he said chuckling. My blood ran cold at the sound. "Perhaps his sister... Harriet?"

"Don't you think that's a bit far? Perhaps we should stay with people in London, easier access, more we can kill in short periods of time." I said coldly. He paused a moment, considering this. I wondered what he looked like. All I could see was a shadow of a figure about 5"8' and the tip of a shiny black dress shoe.

"What a wide range of people we could murder. Who next? His banker? Maybe Molly? Oooh, oooh, I know... let's kill Mike." he said happily. I nodded slowly, knowing he could see me and he chuckled darkly. "Mike it is then. That's it for now. Bye." he said his voice rising slightly in pitch on the last word. He spun on his heel and walked back the way he had come.

The man behind me gripped my shoulders tightly. I growled, wriggling out of his grasp, swiftly turning to face him "Don't touch me again or I will rip your throat out." I snarled before turning and stalking to the creaky door out front. I slammed the door open, being as loud as I possibly could and grinned when I heard the groan coming from the other side of the warehouse.

I stepped outside and sighed in relief. I got through the meeting. I actually lived through it. Smiling I sprinted off towards my flat, not believing my incredible luck.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this chapter was short. I also know it was kind of out of place but I felt it needed to be there. I think this turned out horribly so please give some feedback. If I made any mistakes, please let me know I will fix them. Thank you-Levi.


	16. Chapter 16

_I slid my arms into the belstaff and tied the scarf around my neck. Lestrade just called, telling us he needed us at the yard. For some reason he refused to tell me the details over the phone. I sighed, tapping my foot as I waited for John to hurry up. He rushed about trying to find his things and I smiled because he looked adorable. He rushed over to me. "What about Hamish?" he asked._

_"Hamish is 12, he can look after himself. Besides we shouldn't be gone too long." John sighed, knowing I was right. He turned, trying to find his shoes and I chuckled at how lost he looked._

_"Dad, did you used to date Aunt Sarah?" Hamish asked. John froze and turned towards me. I bit my lip trying to hold in my laughter. That was something he could talk about. He sighed, pulling his shoes on and turning to Hamish._

_"Yeah. Before your father and I got together." I handed him his jacket and he slid it on._

_"Why?"_

_"Because we didn't know we loved each other then." John sighed. I blushed a bit and turned so he couldn't see my face. I knew that I loved John more than he could ever know. I have loved John since that first case but he didn't need to know about that._

_"Father did." Hamish said. I turned towards him, eyes wide, pleading quietly that he wouldn't say anything more to John. It was embarrassing enough as it is. "Father said to me that he loved you from the moment he saw you." I inwardly sighed. Well at least now he knows._

_John turned towards me, a look of shock on his face. I looked at him before turning away blushing. "We... we should get going." I said before leaving the flat quickly._

I slowly opened my eyes to find John smiling at me. "Hey... why didn't you wake me?" I asked.

"You looked tired. You needed the sleep. You should go home, have some proper rest. I'll be fine." he said and I instantly shook my head "Oh well. It was worth a try." he sighed. I grabbed his hand and smiled widely. "The doctor said I should be out of here in a day or two. I need to be careful for a bit though so I don't open the stitches." I nodded eagerly. I couldn't wait to get back home.

There was a quiet knock on the door before it opened, revealing Lestrade. "Hey." John smiled.

"Hey. How are you?"

"Better now. I should be out of here soon. Thank goodness for that." Lestrade nodded, smiling.

"What's in your hands?"

"I-it's nothing. It could wait. Don't want to ruin the moment." he choked out. I looked at John worriedly.

"What happened?"

"I-it's Mike."

"What happened?" John repeated.

Lestrade sighed. He walked towards me. "He was found dead in his bathroom this morning. No signs of a break-in. Sherlock... we're stumped. We could use the help." I shook my head. I refused to leave John's side.

"Sherlock. You should go."

"And leave you... no way." I said shaking my head again.

"You need this. You get antsy and bored and we all know how much you hate hospitals. You need to go out and do something productive." I was still shaking my head. "Sherlock. I'll be fine. Send someone in. Hell send in Mycroft so they can call you if something happens but you need to go." I sighed because he was right. As much as I wanted to stay by his side, I was getting antsy.

"Fine." I mumbled.

"Let me call Mycroft." Lestrade said, stepping out of the room. A few minutes later Mycroft was sitting in the chair and looking ridiculously bored.

"What am I doing here Gregory?"

"I need Sherlock for a case and he refused to leave unless someone was here watching John."

"So why choose me? I am sure Molly would have been more suitable for this dull task." I glared at my brother. He could be so rude sometimes and it aggrivated me to no end.

"Molly has work to do."

"As do I."

"Please just stay here Mycroft. Call us if there are any changes. You shouldn't have to be here too long." Lestrade begged and Mycroft's eyes softened.

"If I must." he said sighing. I thanked him before quickly following Lestrade out to the cab. Once we arrived at the crime scene, I walked into the bathroom without a moment's hesitation.

"Someone reported seeing a person walking into the flat earlier. Mike had invited them in though. Maybe he was stabbed before he stepped into the shower."

"No. He is still wet and he still has shampoo in his hair so he must have been stabbed after he got in and shut the glass."

"But there were no signs of break-ins." Lestrade reminded. I frowned, staring down at the body. There was something off about this whole thing. I leaned down, examining the body closer.

Stab wound to the abdomen, though very fine. So he was stabbed but it couldn't have been suicide otherwise there would have been a weapon. Person was here before he died he let them in but he wouldn't have allowed them to stay if he was taking a shower. So the person would have left and because of the lack of break-ins we can safely assume that the person who was here didn't murder them but that makes no sense.

I growled in frustration, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. I studied the contents of the bathroom, looking around to find something that could give clues. "Do you mind if I look at the clothes?" I asked.

"There was no posion on them if that's why you ask, but go ahead." I nodded in thanks and moved over to the clothes, ruffling through them. Nothing on the clothes but a small strand of blonde hair. Irrelevant. I shook my head and continued my search.

There is a tiny little needle on the belt but that wouldn't have killed him unless it was coated with poison. I walked over to Mike, leaning close to his abdomen, pulling out my magnifying glass. No poison. The skin would have been discoloured but perfectly normal skin tone.

I groaned, sitting back on my heels. What the hell? "Can you please get out?" I snapped. I couldn't think and I was frustrated. Lestrade stayed behind. I didn't really mind though. Partially because I liked Lestrade and partially because if Mycroft was going to call anyone for any changes, Lestrade would be the first. "Do you mind?" I asked gesturing towards the body and he shrugged.

I put my fingers to his throat, a small lump. Odd. I pulled his chin down. His throat was bright red and bumpy. So it had been poison of some kind and because of the bumps and redness, as well as the thickness of his throat, it killed him immediately. So it couldn't have been given to him before he got in the shower because he would have been found in his room. He wasn't dragged in here either so he was definitely poisoned in the shower. But how?

I studied the shower area, attention drawn to the pipes. Rusted around the edge moreso in the front because the water runs down it. Wait. The back was more rusted. It was twisted around. Mike never messes with the pipes. I stuck my hand out and Lestrade handed me the phone. I quickly dialed Mycroft.

"What is it brother mine?" he sighed.

"Did a plumber come by Mike's place anytime in the past two days?" I asked.

"No." I hung up and handed the phone back to Lestrade who looked at me confused. I looked back down to Mike and moved his head to the side. Large bump on the side of the head. Knocked out. Person had time to change the water in the pipes. But poison can't just settle into the body by touch on the skin without leaving any marks. There are no marks on the body so he had to have gotten it into his system somehow.

Into the cut on his abdomen. Possible but not likely. Especially since the proof of poison was in his throat. I highly doubt Mike drank shower water. So how did he get it in his throat? I frowned slightly. This makes no sense. The only way he could have gotten it in his throat was if he drank it or...

Suddenly I remembered something. _Mike, John, and I were at a bar the other night. Mike was mumbling about some random things before whispering something as if it was the biggest secret ever. "I like to sing in the shower."_

He must have been sining and turned around. Water from the shower head getting into his mouth and sliding down his throat. I stopped frowning. a look of revelation on my face.

"What did you find?"

"Well as we both know Mike was alone in the shower. He wasn't killed and then dragged in here. You can tell because there are no scrap marks or blood on the carpet. He did't commit suicide because there would have been a weapon in here. He had to have died in the shower because he is wet and his hair still has shampoo in it. The wound on his abdomen could have killed him if it had been laced with poison but the skin color is the same and there is now odor of it. The rust on the pipes is mainly on the front because the water runs down it but if you look closely you see that the rust is facing the other direction. The pipes were tampered with. Mike doesn't mess with his pipes he calls a plumber that's why I called Mycroft. No plumber in the past two days. I know it was the past two days because the rust was facing the right way two days ago when we all went to the bar. Head has a bump on it so he was knocked out by the trophy closest to his arm chair. Not in the right position you can tell because you can see a slight part that wasn't covered in dust where the trophy was previously. The shower water was poisoned during this time he was knocked out. The poison was in his throat that's how I knew there was a poison in the first place. Red throat, bumps, thick and swollen neck. He wouldn't drink the water but two days ago when we were at the bar he told us he sang in the shower. That's how he died."

"Bloody brilliant... but uh.. there's one thing your forgetting... who killed him."

"The person who showed up yesterday."

"No one saw who it was though." I frowned at this then thought about everything I had seen before coming to a conclusion.

"Mary Morstan."

"How can you tell?"

"When I examined the clothes I found a strand of blonde hair I thought it irrelevant at the time but it appears I was wrong. I would say run the strand but Mary isn't her real name so it'll come up as something completely different. So use the DNA from the trophy. It should come up with a bunch of aliases and one of them should be Mary Morstan or it'll come up with one name. If you searched hard enough you would find that Mary Morstan and the person who showed up on the DNA test are the same person."

"How did you know that?" 

"Mary Morstan. John showed me a picture of her and I asked Mycroft for help on digging her up. No reports of anyone named Mary Morstan ever coming into London."

"She could have paid with cash."

"She could have except we found footage of her years before at a gas station in California. She was under the name Tasha Browns. She has aliases."

"Wait... if you can't study the DNA how could you know it was Mary? And secondly, why would Mike let her in?"

"Because it's the same shade of blonde as her hair with a little bit of a darker color where the hair was obviously died before. I knew that she had brown hair before she died it blonde so I could only assume it was her. As for the Mike thing, he set up John and Mary when I had 'died' and no one told him that things didn't work out. He believed they were still together, having no idea that she wasn't on his side. He thought that they were still friends but he couldn't have been more wrong."

"Congratulations again Sherlock. You solved yet another mind boggling case." He clapped me on the back. His phone started ringing and I stared at it anxiously. "Y-yes?" he asked, silently cursing himself for the stutter. I heard him sigh in relief and I felt relief as well. "We'll be there as soon as possible." he said and smiled at me.

He hung up, telling Donavan that it he was murdered with poison water from the shower by Mary Morstan. He told her to check the DNA on the trophy. Then we headed out of the flat and into the cab, driving off towards the hospital.

"Lestrade, what's going on?" I asked nervously.

"John just got discharged. He healed faster than they thought he would so they are letting him out today." I sighed in relief and stared out the window until we arrived at St. Bart's. I was in a good mood. I solved a murder and I get to go home today with John. My John.

I ran up to the front doors and opened them walking over to John's room and quietly opening the door. I froze when I saw what was waiting for me on the other side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really sorry about how crappy my case was. The horrible deductions and things of the sort. I apologize again.-Levi


	17. Chapter 17

I stood stock still, staring at the scene before me. A man holding a knocked out Mycroft at gunpoint. He was tied to the chiar, phone broken to pieces on the floor and the camera's in the room shattered to pieces on the floor. 

Mary was sitting on John's legs, pressing her body into his and kissing him but what hurt me the most was the fact that he was kissing her back just as passionately. She rocked her hips and he groaned, a smile stretching on his face. I stumbled backwards but the door was shut at some point after I entered. 

The handle hit my back making the door rattle and Mary's head snapped up. When she spotted me, her smile grew and she watched me. John turned his head towards me, smile falling. My heart thudded in my chest. "John..." I choked out.

"This isn't..." he started.

"Yeah sure." I mumbled. I bit back my tears, face turning impassive as I hid my emotions from the one person in the world who I felt I could be myself around. He looked hurt but I decided not to look at him because as much as I want to hate him for hurting me, I couldn't. So instead I focused on Mary.

"Mary. Pleasure as always. Oh and I loved the way you decorated the bathroom with Mike. The poison was a nice touch." I said smiling coldly. Lestrade turned to me looking startled. Mycroft groaned coming to.

"Oh you think so? I thought it was a bit much."

"Oh no. It was truly a great idea. Though you could have made the whole thing better." Mycroft was fully awake now, staring at me.

"And how could I have done that?"

"Oh well... it would have looked so much better if it were you instead of Mike. Perhaps I could put you there myself. It would make the art a masterpiece." I said smiling even bigger now. John stared at me in horror but I didn't care. Let him see this side of me. Let him see what he did.

"Come have a seat." she said patting the bed next to her. I walked over but I refused to sit. John grabbed my hand and I shook it off. Tears filled his eyes and I saw Lestrade staring at me in horror. Mycroft, a look of fear. I yanked the morphine needle out of John's arm, ignroing his shout in pain. "Going back to your drugs are you?" she asked, eyebrow raised.

"Why don't you just take me and murder me like you want to?" I asked.

"Because I'm having so much fun." she whined. She closed her eyes and sighed and I took that moment to stick the needle in her arm, turning up the morphine amount and watching as she dozed off.

"Well that was... different." Lestrade mumbled.

"Yeah it was." I bit. He jumped back and I made my way over to the door. 

"Sherlock..." John croaked. I froze and cursed myself for being so weak. I schooled my expression and turned around, glaring at him.

"We'll just give you a minute." Mycroft said as Lestrade finished undoing his ropes. I hadn't even realized the other man was knocked out in the corner until now. They both hurriedly made their way out of the room.

"P-please sit." John asked. I shook my head. I wasn't going to sit. "Sherlock I..."

"I don't care why you did it John. I trusted you with every fiber of my being. I wanted to believe you actually cared because I love you but you were lying all this time. You don't care about me or my emotions. You probably find them disturbing. Maybe I'll just go back to being a Sociopath. Shut myself off to everyone. At least that way, you won't have a look of disgust on your face everytime you look at me."

I then turned and walked out the door, ignoring his shouts of protest as I made my way down the hall. Lestrade wrapped an arm around me but I shrugged it off. Mycroft glared at me and I glared back as I stormed out of the hospital and I didn't miss his worried shout after me. I climbed into a cab and told him the adress to Baker Street.

When the cabbie pulled up to the flat, I tossed him some notes and made my way inside, slamming the door shut behind me. My facade fell and I slid down the door and sank to the floor, letting the tears fall. I was a fool for letting myself believe that I could be loved by this amazing man. From the moment I met him I knew I was screwed. I would do anything for him even if I didn't want to admit it. I let myself believe that I could actually live a normal life. I would find love and have a happy marriage. I should have known from the start that it couldn't have worked out. Now it was too late. My heart was broken and I couldn't do anything to repair it.

I stumbled upstairs and into my room. I dug through my drawers. Cigarettes. They wouldn't do anything. I threw them off to the side. I moved to my bookshelf and felt behind the books. Nothing. I growled throwing the books across the room. I ran to my closet. More cigarettes. I started laughing. Of course the one time I don't need them, I find them everywhere. I fell to the floor, clutching my side as I laughed. Snorting as I rocked back and forth. 

Mrs. Hudson came in and her smile faltered. She walked over and wrapped me into a hug. At this point I was half laughing half crying. I turned to Mrs. Hudson and cried into her neck. "What happened dear?"

"He left me Mrs. Hudson. I don't know why I let myself believe he was any different than anyone else." I continued to cry until I had no more tears left. She helped me into the bed, kissing my forehead before leaving. "Thank you Mrs. Hudson." I croaked as she turned the light off. 

"Of course dear." She then quietly shut the door leaving me to my thoughts. I turned over onto myside and stared at the wall. Suddenly I sat upright. I remembered where my stash was. I slid out of bed and onto the floor. I reached under the bed and up to the bar just on the side. I pulled the tape down and smiled as I stared at the sryinge. 

_**John** _

They let me out of the hospital that day. I ignored the questions Mycroft and Lestrade kept asking. Lestrade put reasurring arm on my shoulder. I shook it off. "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" I snapped at him. He pulled his hand back slightly scared. "I'm sorry." I whispered. I climbed into the cab before realizing... I didn't know where to go. I could go to the flat but Sherlock wouldn't want me there.

I decided that I should go so I could at least get some stuff before going somewhere else. I told the Cabbie the adress and stared out the window. Tears streaked my face as I thought about what had happened. The person behind Mycroft was going to shoot him. The cabbie had waited for Sherlock to get out. He was going to shoot them. I couldn't let them get hurt.

So I waited until the front door opened loudly. I then kissed Mary passionately. I had to pretend to enjoy it or they would die. I smiled and groaned and kissed her, imagining she was Sherlock. At least then it would be more bearable. When Sherlock came in Mary hadn't noticed but the look on his face was pure pain. My heart shattered and I groaned again as she rocked her hips.

I shook my head, thanking the cabbie and giving him some notes. I stood outside for a moment before unlocking the door. I stepped in and saw Mrs. Hudson coming down the stairs. She looked at me and then smacked me across the face. "What the hell were you thinking?" she asked angrily. I moved my hand up to my face and let the tears fall. She must have noticed this because her face softened.

"I.... I hurt him so badly. I had to. Mary was going to kill Mycroft. She was going to kill Lestrade and Sherlock too and I couldn't watch that. I had to... to..." I sobbed. She wrapped me in a hug. 

"I'm sure he'll understand."

I shook my head. "No. He became so serious and withdrawn. I think I lost him Mrs. Hudson. I think I lost him for good." She rubbed my back soothingly and I smiled sadly. "I should go and pack a bag. Goodbye Mrs. Hudson." I whispered. She hugged me tightly before sending me upstairs.

I slowly walked up, dreading what would happen once I reached the top. The flat was silent. He must have gone to bed. I walked up to my room and packed a bag. I did it as slowly as I possibly could. As I started walking down the stairs, a feeling of dread settled over me. I'm not entirely sure why, but I opened Sherlock's bedroom door. 

I dropped the bag screaming for Mrs. Hudson as I stared at the body that was Sherlock, lying on the bed. I ran into the room, grabbing his head, cuddling him. Mrs. Hudson stepped in and she immediately called the hospital. He was still breathing but it was weak. I cried, tears falling on his face. His eyes opened flightly as I pulled the sryinge out of his arm.

"I'm sorry I wasn't enough." he whispered.

"No. Please don't leave me. I couldn't deal with it again." The sirens outside grew louder until I found myself in a cab following them to the hospital. I shook my head. We just got out of here. Why... why did our lives have to be so bad. I moved into the waiting room and sat in the chair. I ended up nodding off and I was awoken by someone shaking my shoulder.

"Is... is he okay?" I asked quietly.

"He's going to be okay. He's not awake but you can go to his room." she said. I mumbled a thanks before stumbling to the room and falling into the chair beside his bed. I grabbed his hand and fell asleep, head on the bed. 

_**Sherlock** _

I groaned, feeling a slight shifting next to me. Where am I? There was a slight beeping and I slowly opened my eyes to find myself in a plain white room. I groaned again. I was in the hospital. Why couldn't I just die? I felt a slight shifting again and I turned to find John waking up. He looked so adorable. Then I remembered what happened yesterday and I scowled, pulling my hand out of his.

"Sh..sherlock?" 

"What are you doing here, John?" I bit out harshly. His blue eyes filled with tears and I almost felt bad. I shook the thought away.

"Sherlock... I have an explanation." he whispered. I turned my head away from him. He grabbed my hand and I hesitated a moment before yanking my hand away from him.

"I don't want to hear it." I scowled.

"Please." he choked out. He sounded so broken. I turned towards him, trying to keep my face stoic but I knew my eyes were full of tears. "She would have killed you. Sherlock she would have..."

"You should have let her."

"What?" he choked out.

"The only reason you are in this situation is because of me so you should have let her." I whispered.

"No. I couldn't. I can't. Sherlock if I lost you... I couldn't deal... I'm sorry."

"I know but John... I am poison. I hurt everything I touch. I hurt everyone I know and that's why they all leave. I'm sorry."

"Do you remember when we first met?"

"Of course. How could I forget?"

"I thought you would be just another fat, lazy drunk. You weren't and I was confused. I felt a strong bond and refused the money your brother offered."

"I don't see what this has to do with..."

"Just listen please." I nodded, shutting up. "My life was hell. I didn''t like anything. I went to a therapist everyday because I needed to get over the war but it never worked, yet I would do it anyways. My life had no meaning and then I bumped into Mike, and then I met you, and I was happy. I had a flat. I had another human being. I had danger and adventure. You saved me. I would have put a bullet through my brain long ago if it hadn't been for you. When you came back I was so happy because you killed me when you jumped. I didn't know what I was signing up for in the beginning but if I did, I still would have chosen to have this time with you because you complete me. I accept the danger that comes with your life becasue for you, I will do anything."

I smiled and kissed his forehead. I then patted the bed and he crawled in next to me. "You know, my life was dull. I had fun on the cases and I didn't have to do drugs because the adrenaline rush felt the same. When you walked through the door that day I couldn't help but fall in love with the way you smiled when you talked. I could tell you liked danger because you missed the war and I realized that I loved everything about you." My mind went blank and I thought back to the dream I had earlier this morning about a child and I smiled brightly. "You flipped my world around so quickly. Before I met you I needed either drugs or a case. After I met you I didn't need drugs when I didn''t have a case because everything you did made me smile. God it was so hard not to tell you how much I loved you. I thought you'd run the other way. You are my life John. I cannot live in a world where you aren't in it or where you don't love me becaue it hurt too much."

"You are a romantic you know that?" he asked snuggling into my chest.

"Yeah... I know." I whispered kissing his forehead.


	18. Chapter 18

**_Sherlock_ **

 

I was so freakin bored. I have been in this bloody hospital for two days and I was so freakin bored.

 

I groaned loudly hoping to get John's attention. "John. I am so bored. Entertain me." I whined but there was no answer. I sighed, closing my eyes.   
The door opened and I peered through my lashes and saw John standing there with a tray.

 

"Wait. You weren't even here?"

 

"Do you just carry on talking when I'm away?"

 

"Yeah. Pretty much." John started laughing an I joined I moments later. John put the trays on my bed so he wouldn't spill them, hunched over laughing.

 

A nurse walked in and giggled. "You two seem like you're having a moment. I'll come back." Then she turned to leave.

 

"No we're done." I said, chuckling. John wiped a few tears from his eyes. 

 

"Okay then... Mr. Holmes you can leave when you're ready." She said before scurrying out. I jumped out of bed excitedly.

 

"Finally. It's about time." I shouted as I quickly ran around the room.

 

"Sherlock... your food.

 

"Forget about the food." John shrugged before handing me my clothes and waited for me to change. I quickly did so and tabbing his hand, ran out of the hospital as fast as I could. 

 

God I hated hospitals. "Calm down there Sherlock." John says chuckling.

 

"No. I get to go home." I said excitedly. I hopped into the cab and told the cabbie the address to the flat. Mrs. Hudson walked out and smiled brightly.

 

She wrapped me in a hug. "I'm so glad you're home. Are you okay?"

 

"Yes. I'm fine." I said pushing her away slightly. I loved her like she was my mother but I didn't want to hug her all the time.

 

"Okay, good." She said pulling away. I smiled slightly before I winced, my head turned to the side. She... She just slapped me. "Don't you ever do that again." She yelled.

 

"Normally I would think that seeing Sherlock getting slapped would be the funniest thing ever," I spun around to find Lestrade talking to John who was nodding slightly. "But I agree with her this time. Don't you ever do that again."

 

I chuckled and gestured for the two of them to follow me. "What are you boys going to be up to?"She asked.

 

"We'll probably play some games." John suggested.

 

"What... no. You know we never get through a whole game." I mumbled.

 

"Not a board game."

 

"What?"

 

"Mario Kart."

 

"We have Mario Karts?" I asked slightly surprised. I haven't played the game in forever.

 

"It's Mario Kart not Karts."

 

"Whatever." I mumbled, rolling my eyes. We spent all afternoon playing the game and I was growing aggravated. John. Kept. Winning.

 

I growled as he won again. "I was so close." I whined. He stuck his tongue out, a smile on his face. 

 

"There's one more race in this set. Then Greg can play."

 

"Who the hell is Greg?" I asked confused and Lestrade raised his hand silently. I nodded and we started the last race.

 

I wasn't doing too hot. Baby Peach kept pushing me off the sides and I kept dying. I was getting aggravated. It was the second lap and I got pushed off again. I went from 2nd place to 12th in a matter of seconds.

 

"Ugh! This game is so unfair!" I shouted angrily. I hollered at the screen as John chuckled. "It's so stupid." I growled.

 

"Are the rules wrong?" Lestrade asked. I glared at Lestrade and John continues to chuckle.

  
"Yes." I growled before huffing defeatedly.

"But the no dashes thing... that rule is right?" John asked a little angry but trying to stifle his laughter. In the end he failed and we all started laughing. People were passing us but weren't too far ahead.

The door opens and I was vaguely aware of Mycroft entering the room. "I sense an inside joke." He said.] While John was distracted, I continues the game and crossed the finish line in first place.

"Yes!" I yelled throwing my controller onto the couch. John looked at me startled and I just smiled. "I won."

"Are the rules wrong now?" Lestrade asked.

I shook my head. "No. They are perfectly fine."

Mycroft pushes his way towards the couch and noticed that we were playing Mario Kart. "Move over. I wanna beat my brother."

"You're on." I growled. It's been long since either of us have played. There was no way I could lose.

Maple Treeway. Good. I was great at this map. My brother and I chose our karts and started the race. Within moments it was only him and I racing for first place.

"Come on Mycroft." Lestrade yelled. I looked at him curiously.

"I thought you were on my team."

"Umm..." Mycroft cleared his throat and I focused back on the game. It was close. We were neck and neck. Either one of us could win at this point.

We were right next to each other and I pulled ahead at the last second, beating my brother who sat there stunned.

"You just... you beat me."

"I did." I said, smiling.

"But you never beat me." He pouted.

"Well, I just did." He rolled his eyes before leaning back on the couch. "So what did you come here for?"

"Can't I just come by to say hi to my little brother?"

"No. You always have a reason for coming."

"It's true. I do. Lestrade told me he would be here all day and I got bored so I decided to come along as well."

"What about the British Government? Won't it all go to hell if you aren't working?"

"It'll be fine for a bit." Mycroft assured. I had a feeling it wasn't the only reason he was there but I wasn't going to press him for answers.

"Hello Mycroft. It's nice to see you again." Mrs. Hudson said cheerily, as she made her way up the stairs.

"You too Mrs. Hudson." He called and I rolled my eyes. Mycroft looked to be enjoying himself but why?

I eyed Lestrade and began to wonder if he had anything to do with it. "Stop staring at me Sherlock, you have a fiancé " Lestrade said chuckling.

Mycroft glared at me and I smirked. Oh... He had everything to do with it. This could be fun.


	19. Chapter 19

_**John** _

 

Tapping and turning. That's all the could be heard throughout the room. Tapping and turning.

 

My eyes flickered to the bottom of my screen and I groaned. Only 200 words. I am never at such a loss when it comes to writing my blog. 

 

Another page turning. "We should do something."

 

I looked up startled by the sudden noise. "Wh-what?" I groaned, watching him over my screen. He continued reading as if he hadn't said anything.

 

I sighed, shaking my head and looked at the screen again, trying to figure out what to say next. "We should do something. Maybe go somewhere." He sighed putting the book down.

  
"In the middle of a case?" I asked, shocked that he would step away from an unsolved case to go on vacation.

"Yeah. It's good to take a break once in a while."

"In the middle of a case?" I asked again. He nodded, causing me to frown. He sighed.

"I don't like how close this case is to you. You almost died and I don't think I could handle that so... I thought we'd go on vacation. Have some fun. You'll be safe too."

I chuckled, nodding. Of course we could go on vacation. "Where to?"

"Well there is this nice place. It's in the states but that wouldn't be too bad."

"The states? I sputtered. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Yeah. Is something wrong with that? We could always go somewhere else." He said quickly.

I shook my head, chuckling. "No its fine. I just didn't expect to be going overseas is all."

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and I smiled widely. "Seriously. It's fine. Now how long are we going for?"

"A week."

"Ok. When do we leave?"

"Well I was hoping we could leave today..." he started, but seeing the look on my face, he quickly added, "but I wouldn't mind leaving whenever you want."

I started laughing. "It's fine if we leave now Sherlock. Let me just pack a bag " he nodded and plopped down on to the couch, waiting for me to return.

I looked around my room and packed a few clothes. I heard Sherlock talking downstairs and for some reason I stopped to listen, even though it wasn't any of my business.

"Yeah... well... Mycroft please." There was a moment of silence before he started speaking again. "Mycroft this is something I only ask about once. I know you want to pay for the wedding and honeymoon but..." he trailed off.

I made some noise so it didn't sound as though I was listening in on his conversation moments ago. I stilled when he started speaking again. "John and I aren't safe  right now. We won't spend all of your money... just a few thousand dollars.... I promise... goodbye brother." He huffed, hanging up.

A few thousand dollars? Where exactly were we going?

I heard footsteps and quickly began rummaging through my bathroom. "You're not done yet?"

"No... I can't find my shampoo." I muttered. I wasn't lying either. I hadn't been able to find my shampoo for a few days.

"I used the rest the other day. Sorry about that." He said, rubbing his neck again.

"It's fine. We'll just have to stop by the store before we go." He nodded and I chuckled shaking my head.

"What?"

"You. You think I'm gonna get mad cause you used the rest of my shampoo. Now come on drama queen." I said leaving my room.

"Wh-... I am _no_ t a drama queen." He mumbled and I chuckled.

We grabbed our bags and hailed a taxi, telling him the address of the store and asking if he could wait a moment.

After quickly buying the shampoo and arriving at the airport I found myself extremely excited to find out where we were going.

It felt like hours before the plane finally took off but it was a relief when it finally did. I hated airports.

"You brought shorts right?" He asked suddenly. I jumped, slightly startled. I thought he had been asleep.

"No. Do I need shorts?"

"Yeah. It is really hot there. I suppose we could just get you some when we land." He mumbled.

"Where is there... exactly?"

"It's a surprise." I rolled my eyes at how childish he was being. It took about a day to get there but we finally touched down at the Laughlin/Mojave National Airport.

There was nothing else for miles around us but at last we arrived at a Wal-Mart. "What are we here for?"

"Shorts."

"Right." We walked  inside the store and immediately began searching for some shorts.

 

_**Sherlock** _

 

Finally we had found the shorts. This was one long trip and I did not have the patience to wait any longer. I pulled some shorts off the shelf and handed them to John.

 

"Sherlock..." he muttered. I pushed the shorts at him again and he took them, looking at the tag . "How did you know which size to get?"

 

"Because I know what size shorts you wear."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because it was important."

 

"Surely not that important." He said raising and eyebrow a bit.

 

"You're always important. There is always enough room for you." I smiled, blushing a bit. I then cleared my throat and pushed him towards the dressing room. "Now try on those pairs of shorts."

 

"Yes mother. Would you like me to show you when I put them on?"

 

"As a matter of fact I do. It's a requirement." I said cheekily. John chuckled as he left to change.

 

I sat there, staring at the stall and wondering if he'd like the resort I picked out. It was in Laughlin, Nevada. It looked like a great place when I looked it up. It was called the Avi.

 

The stall opened and John walked out, twirling round in his shorts, making me chuckle. "They look great now go back in." He nodded, chuckling as he walked back into the stall.

 

I blushed a bit and looked around, hoping no one saw us but no one was around. I wasn't embarrassed of John and I being a couple... I just had no idea how Americans would react to us being together.

 

I sat there, staring at the wall for quite a while. Occasionally telling John whether to keep a pair of shorts or not.

 

"How many more do you have?" I groaned.

 

"One last pair. I promise." I nodded and sighed as he walked back into the stall. A woman sat down next to me.

 

"You two are a cute couple you know." She said as her friend walked into the stall next to John.

 

"What?" I asked slightly startled.

 

"You and your partner. You two are a cute couple." 

 

"Thank you. So are you and yours."

 

"Thanks." I sat there uncomfortably for a moment.

 

"Can I ask you a question? It might be odd but..." I  asked nervously.

 

"Feel free."

 

"Do people here... You know accept this kind of thing?"

 

"Yeah. Most people do anyways. But no matter where you go there always be those few who don't. Don't worry though." She said reassuringly.

 

I smiled at her thankfully and turned my attention back on the stall.

 

John strutted out wearing a pair of tan shorts that stopped mid thigh. They were tight but not to the point where it hurt and I couldn't help but love the way he looked in them.

 

"Well...?" He asked clearing his throat. I turned away from him, my face bright red.

 

"They look great. You should definitely get them." I said looking back at him. He was smirking and I knew I had been caught staring.

 

I sighed, dropping my head. He chuckled as he walked back into the stall. The woman next to me started laughing as soon as the door shut and I glared at her.

 

"That... was amazing..." she said between laughs. I chuckled and got up, walking with John towards the cash register.

 

We were both silent as we piled into the car Mycroft had waiting for us. "So.. did you enjoy the view?" He asked and I blushed again.

 

"Shut up." I said, playfully hitting him. He smiled at me before resting his head on my shoulder and falling asleep.

 


	20. Chapter 20

**_John_ **

 

I was really excited to see where we were going. There were so many amazing places in Laughlin. Lots of resorts and casinos.

 

"Where are we going?" I asked for the millionth time.

 

"It's a surprise. You will like it though." 

 

"I'm sure I will." I mumbled. I looked out the window die. It wasn't the most beautiful place. It was really brown everywhere but there were lots of palm trees.

 

Sherlock wasn't kidding when he said it was too g to be hot either. The monitor above the rearview mirror said that it was 110 degrees outside. No wonder we needed shorts.

 

A few minutes later we pulled into the drive and I couldn't help but feel put how big the hotel was. It was further away from the rest of Laughlin but this resort looked amazing.

 

Palm trees lined the entrance and I noticed the smoke shop and convenience store were part of the hotel. The building was an ugly tan color but because it was starting to get a bit dark, the lights from the hotel were on.

 

"This place is huge." I said, taking the bags out of the trunk. Sherlock nodded in agreement and ushered me inside. A blast of cold air .are me sigh and I looked around.

 

6 floors with tiled black floors with white dots. Leather furniture. To my left and right there were elevators and hallways. There was also a gift shop on my left. I felt like a child, spinning in circles, checking put the place. We were only in the lobby too.

 

Sherlock chuckled, heading toward the counter and paid for our rooms for a week. As soon as he paid we took the bags upstairs and relaxed a bit.

 

"So they have a pool here. They also have a beach and a movie theater. They have an arcade and 0 viously gambling. So what do you feel like doing?" He asked.

 

"Can we just check put the gift shop really quick?" Sherlock nodded and pulled me put of the room. This was a really nice hotel. We passed the casino and went up the ramp o  the left, dodging people, before fi ally making it to the gift shop.

 

There was a lot to look at. They had clothes and sunglasses. There was a bunch of food and I realized just how hungry I was. "We'll go to the food courts by our room next okay?" Sherlock asked and I nodded eagerly.

 

I wandered around the gift shop and came across a picture on the front cover of a book. I really liked it too. It was an otter in a scarf with his body twisted around the hedgehog, looking down at him as the hedgehog looked up. The number on the side said 221B and it took me a second to realize that the number was our address.

 

I picked the book up and looked at the title. _John Watson Blog Collection._ I smiled and flipped the book over, scanning the summary. Flipping the book open I looked at the first page and found another adorable picture. This one was of a tan otter cradle g a small hedgehog in a blue scarf. "Hey. John... you should come look at this." Sherlock called.

 

I grabbed the book and made my way over to the curly haired man. He pointed at sign that had a bunch of animals. "Spirit Totem Stones." I read aloud. Sherlock nodded and pointed at two specifically.

 

The otter totem description read: Though fiercly independent an Otter's love is loyal to the end and beyond.

 

The other animal he was pointing at was a hedgehog. The description read: You love to explore and follow your natural curiosity and know how to protect yourself while doing this. You u understand weather patterns, k owing when it will rain. You are gentle yet protective of yourself at the same time. You know how to build defensive and protective barriers that discourage negativity.

 

"Wow... that sounds like us." 

 

"So not only do put looks compare to an otter and a hedgehog, I don't see it but the fans do, but our personalities too." Sherlock muttered. I chuckled.

 

"What do you have there?" He asked. I showed him the book and he chuckled. 

 

"What?"

 

"They like your blog so much that they compiled it into a book they have to buy instead of reading it online free."

 

"I suppose it is funny." Sherlock took the book and looked at the cover. 

 

"These are really cool." He said pointing out the pictures as we walked towards the counter.

 

"They really are. Wait... did you just say you liked the otter?" I asked as we put the book on the counter.

 

"I did."

 

"Oh my goodness. You always said you hated the otter and hedgehog thing. You claim it makes no sense because we are people not animals."

 

"Because I don't understand how I look like an otter And why do they always draw a scarf?"

 

"Because you are adorable." I said.

 

"Shut up John." He chuckled.

 

"You know you love me."

 

"Unfortunately I do." He sighed. I playfully hit his arm and huffed, pulling his scarf off and twirling it around my neck.

 

"It is so hot in here... How are you wearing a scarf? Why?" I asked.

 

"It is hot. I have an image to keep."

 

"We are I  the states. No one knows you. And you wonder why everyone draws the scarf on your otter. You never take it off."

 

"Fine. What about your striped shirt?"

 

"I don't know." I sighed.

 

"How much do we owe you?" Sherlock asked irritated, turning towards the woman.

 

"Don't be rude. "

 

"Why? We're in the states. No one knows me." He said batting his lashes.

 

"You are such a Prat sometimes." I whispered standing on my tiptoes. 

 

"Oh really?" He asked. I nodded, humming while I leaned in.

 

"Yeah." I whispered before pulling away.

 

"John you're such a tease." He whined.

  
"Sherlock," I whined mockingly. I opened my mouth to say something but there was a loud gasp behind the counter. Sherlock and I both jumped slightly.

His face stoic, mine, no doubt, bright red. "You... You guys are Sherlock Holmes and John Watson?" She asked excitedly. Sherlock sighed.

"Yeah. Now how much do we owe you." He huffed.

"Sherlock!" I exclaimed, hitting his shoulder.

"What?" He asked shocked.

"Quit being rude." I then turned toward the cashier and smiled. " I'm so sorry. Ignore him. He isn't the friendliest person."

"You'd never know it by the way he acts around you."

"No you wouldn't would you." I mumbled. I hadn't realized I was staring at him until she cleared her throat. I blushed and gave her some cash.

"Enjoy your stay!" She called as we left. Sherlock rolled his eyes as we walked over to the food court. I flipped through the book and was shocked to find they literally and all of my blogs.

"Why did you get that?" He asked.

"I liked the pictures."

"I do too. I was thinking about getting them as a tattoo." He said.

"You want a tattoo?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah. I have for a while now but I couldn't figure out what to get but now I know."

We ordered some subway and sat down discussing the tattoos. We both agreed that we should head to the city and get some tomorrow.


	21. Chapter 21

_**NOTE: Oh my gods. I am so so so so so sorry guys. I know I**_ _ **haven't**_ _ **updated in a while. I have started school a few weeks ago and**_ _ **I**_ ** _get homework every night. I will try to update as soon_** **_as possible. I forgot what I was going to write for this chapter so I apologize if it isn't good.Thank you for sticking with me.-Levi_**

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~** _

We stepped put of the black car, smiles on our faces, and new tattoos. "Thanks for going with me." Sherlock said quietly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Of course Sherlock." I said, a large smile on my face.

"We should go to the beach." He said. I nodded eagerly and we hurried to pur room to change.

Sherlock grabbed his bag and rushed onto the bathroom. I changed quickly and waited for Sherlock, who seemed to be taking forever.

"Sherlock..." I whined.

"Yes John?"

"What is taking you so long? I want to go."

"I'll be put in a moment." He shouted. I groaned and fell onto the bed.

I heard the door creak open and jumped up, excited to finally get going. When I spotted Sherlock, I froze. Wow... he looked amazing. Suddenly I realized that I have never seen him in shorts before.

There was a snap on front of my face and I jumped back. "Are you okay John?"

"Huh... yeah.. sorry I just zoned out a bit."

"I can tell. Come on. Let's get going or we will never get to canoe."

"Canoe?"

"Yes. Canoe. Now come on." He said excitedly, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the door.

I chuckles and followed him out to the cove. He grabbed a canoe paying the amount of money needed and dragged me towards a secluded area... well more secluded than anywhere else on the beach.

He told me to get in and pushed the canoe out into the water and hopped in after me. "Uh... John..."

"Yeah?"

"I don't know how to turn this thing."

I. Buckled and showed him how to oar. We attempted turning and ended up going in circles, laughing, splashing water on each other.

After messing around for a while we relaxed in the canoe, smiling. Someone drove by on a boat, music blaring. I was about to yell at them to turn it down but Sherlock started singing.

"I've been spending way too long checking my tongue out in the mirror. Bending over backwards just to try and see it clearer, but my breath fogged up the glass."

I smiled as I watched Sherlock sing, a large smile plastered on his face. After the song finished he turned towards me. "What?"

"I love you." I said. He chuckled and pushed me playfully and I did it back, just a bit to hard. He went over the side of the canoe.

He pulled me with him and we splashed each other, laughing as we did so.

Finally, after hours of hanging put on the beach, Sherlock and I went back up to our hotel room.

"That was fun." I said collapsing onto the bed after taking a shower.

"That it was." Sherlock said, a smile evident on his features. He's smiled a lot more recently and I fall in love with him every time he does it.

"What do you want to do now?"

"Lets just relax, watch a movie, maybe play some card games." He said.

"No card games. You always win."

"Not always. Please..." he begged and I sighed, agreeing to play a few games of rummy. Sherlock won almost all of them.

"Come on let's play one more."

"No Sherlock. I want to watch the movie."

"Fine." He huffed. He played back on the bed, pulling me on top of him and we cuddled up watching bBeauty and the Beast.

It was one of my all time favorite Disney movies. When the credits began to play, I turned off the tv and curled into the side of a sleeping Sherlock and in minutes I was fast asleep.

                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_**NOTE: Hey guys. I am so sorry that this was a short chapter. I am trying to get back onto the habit of writing. I am so sorry again.-Levi** _


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